Just the Girl Next Door...Or Is She?

She sighs, and realizes yet again that all she feels like is the "Girl Next Door." She knows she is capable of much more. She longs to be much more, but she is confused and unsure. Her heart is not broken, but it is cracked. Why does it seem like everybody she thought she knew is not who they once were?

She needs a constant, something concrete, something to hold on to. Very well she knows that she cannot hold on forever. She has been told that so many times that she could not even hazard a guess at how many times it has been repeated to her.

Once again she feels like she does not know anything. She tries so hard, harder than most, yet she is still the one that just doesn't know. It feels like most of the others know, even though she knows that is not true.

Her life is so confusing to her; she just doesn't understand. All she really needs is for someone to take her hand. She writes "I love you" carefully in the sand, and then watches it wash away, and loses her command.

After all the struggling, all the questioning, all the praying, she is still unsure of what exactly it is that she has. She knows she could be more, but understands that it will take time. She also knows, even if it does not feel like it sometimes, that there are constants in her life.

Most of all, she realizes that she is strong. She always has been strong, and always will be. There are times when she feels weak, but compared to most she has a great amount of strength. She silently admits that this will make her last a while longer...