My Thoughts & Musings From 2009.

I figured that since we are about to embark on a new year, I would write about some of my thoughts and musings from 2009.
Like any year, 2009 was a year of change. However, I think some of the changes that took place in 2009 were bigger than many of the changes I have had in most of my previous years. 2009 was a roller coaster ride with a lot of ups, downs, and definitely loops. I learned some important lessons in 2009 that turned me into the person I am today. I believe that these lessons will come in handy later in life. Life threw a lot of obstacles my way, but I fought back, kicking and screaming.

One of the major lessons I learned this year was that people are not always what they appear to be. I know that is an age old saying, and that people usually don't give it a second thought. This year though, I learned that it is an absolute TRUTH. It is not something to just roll your eyes at. You may think you know someone, but you might not. Especially when you first meet someone, it is easy to get caught up and jump into something, whether it be a friendship or a relationship. However, I have learned that you should not jump blindly; you should always keep one eye open. There may be no flashing lights or "danger ahead" signs to warn you that something is wrong, so it is hard to know when something is not quite right. That is why you need to be very careful.

Another lesson I learned this year was taught to me by an unlikely teacher. "Some things in life are worth waiting for...even if it means waiting forever." I have learned that I am worth waiting for. I am confident that if somebody really loves me, they will be willing to wait for me. This year, my values have been tested more than they ever have been before. I had to decide which direction I wanted to go, and it was an extremely hard decision to make. However, I have learned that if you are with someone, you should not have to change your values, and they should not have to change. They may choose to change, but they shouldn't have to. It may not be easy, but if it is meant to be, it WILL be worth it. Like the song "Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield says: "Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for." I definitely believe this. Now, I wish I could say that I'd fallen in love in 2009, and [insert name here] is EVERYTHING to me, but it hasn't happened yet. Of course, I am willing to wait, because when love does blossom it will be worth it. People tell me it will happen when I least expect it. While this answer does not exactly satisfy me, I tend to agree that love will happen.

As I mentioned earlier, this year has been a year of major change. I have realized that close friends drift away, and this year has been no different. Some of my close friends have drifted away, whether it was totally, or just partially. However, when I was at a couple of my lowest points, it seemed like the most random person would start talking to me. I appreciate these people so much. They might never know who they are, but I am very glad that they intervened when they did. They were in the right place at the right time, and I am very grateful for that.

This year, I really have matured a lot. There have been times this year when I would do something that I never would have done in the past, and I would realize that I actually have a backbone. I have made new friends, and grown closer to old. I am not going to lie. There have been times when I acted happy even though I wasn't. There were also times when I bottled up my emotions at school, and then blew up at my mom once I got home. Sometimes, it just happens. While some people think that I am always happy, nobody ever lives up fully to that expectation.

I am going through a major transitional period right now. I have gotten a taste of the college life this year, and sometimes it is hard to wake up and realize that I am still in high school. I won't be for long, but that really does not change much right now.

Sometimes people think I am so naive, but I am NOT stupid. I have expanded my open-mindedness this year, and while I have never been a very judgemental person, I have become even less judgemental. After all, isn't there a saying about being nice to everyone, because you never know what internal battles they may be facing? I agree with that fully. I try my best to be nice to everyone, because I know what it feels like to be the outsider.

Overall, 2009 was not a bad year. It was rocky, but it had its perks too. However, I still wish for an even BETTER 2010. Remember: 2009 may have been divine, but 2010 is the year to start over again! So with that, I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! May God bless you in all that you do!

Love always,
Molly :)