Thursday, April 22, 2010

So Much to Gain.

A very close friend of mine led a Bible study tonight. I felt very overwhelmed by the love of God while he was speaking. In fact, I actually cried. Yes, that's right. Now, unless you know me very well, you probably don't know this, but I am actually not much of a crier. Sure, I cry every once in awhile, but usually more when I am mad than any other time.

However, for some reason tonight I felt moved. My friend was so into what he was saying. You could tell that he felt everything that he said with his whole heart. I know I am not always the best person that I could be. None of us are. If we do not have anyone else to go to though, we always have God. God is the only real constant. Period. No questions asked.

If you do not believe in God, I respect your opinion, and I will not bash it. I am not the kind of person who thinks I am better than anyone else because I believe in God. Those kinds of Christians are the ones who give the people who do believe a bad name.

No, I believe I am of the same equality as everyone else. I am just aware of Jesus Christ's free gift to me. When He died on the cross, he did it for ALL of us. He gave us all a chance, like the free space on a Bingo board. It is our choice whether to take it or leave it. All I ask of you after reading this, is to just please think about what I said. Give God a chance. There is nothing to lose, but there is so much to gain!

Friday, April 16, 2010

My Time to Decide.

I found the image to the left today, and I realized it kind of describes how I feel right now.

I remember walking in on the first day of high school. I felt as if I were a firefly finally being released from my secure, little jar of safety. While most of those around me were terrified, I was pretty darn excited! I was in a new town, and there were new people all around me. It may sound cliche, but I thought I could be whoever I wanted to be!

A few days into the beginning of my high school journey, I realized that it was not all it was cracked up to be. I turned from an eager new freshman into someone who wished she was invisible. I remember myself one day trying to count down the approximate days until graduation. Being a freshman (and especially one who sucked at math!) that was out of the question, and obviously did not work. I wished more than anything though that I could be a senior, and just finish that freshman chapter of my life.

I made it through freshman year, and sophomore year was much better due to a change in circumstances. All of my high school years have been much better, in fact. I have had to go through hardships just like everyone else, but I have also gotten used to high school. It is ordinary and familiar. It is the norm for me now, but soon everything will change...

I will suddenly be released from my second secure, little jar, and have to fly out into an unknown world. I will definitely not fly on my own, but I will have to be more in charge of what I do. I won't have all the second chances I did in high school.

Now it is my time to decide:
whether I choose to fall, or to light up the world and fly...

*Image used above courtesy of:

Friday, April 9, 2010

Stuck On Pause.

She fights, she fights, and her head knows it's wrong, but her heart knows it's right!
She wants, but what good is wanting when everything seems grey?
She is stuck in a state of limbo.

The world seems to be moving along smoothly; it is as if someone has suddenly pushed the "fast-forward" button. Everyone got the memo but her; she is still stuck on "pause."

Her only constant is you, though you are just a mere dream...
She constantly questions herself.
She tries to analyze and rationalize,
but some things just cannot be analyzed or rationalized.

Some things just are.
And you are to her...
Can she ever be to you?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Mixed Emotions...

Mixed emotions; she does not know how to take them.
They are all jumbled up in her head, like a million lightning bugs that have just been set free in the middle of a desert.
It is like the one thing she has wanted for so long is suddenly standing right in her face, screaming. Then she realizes it is all just a facade. She is staring into a two-way mirror, and this thing is standing on the other side, not seeing her at all. It all feels so close, but so far away! She doesn't know whether to knock on the mirror, or just walk away...