The Stages of Grieving

My cat looks up to the heavens,

As I fall down to my knees

 

I know that praying will not bring you back,

But perhaps it will give me some ease

 

Ease to go on without you

Ease to wake up every day

Ease to bring me some clarity, when I see no reason to stay

 

My heart knows you want me to be happy

I long to set my anxieties and depression free

But how can I even begin to cope without you standing beside me?

 

Someday I will walk down the aisle,

Wearing a pretty white dress,

Without my father to give me away –

To release me from my nest

 

I will be surrounded by people who love me,

But that will never replace,

The look I wish I could have seen, on your aging face

 

You will always be with me,

I know that to be true, but sometimes I selfishly wonder,

“How could you?”

 

How could you leave me here, on this dreadful earth?

How could you leave me here, as you rolled away in a hearse?

How could you leave me here, at such a pivotal point in my life?

How could you leave us here alone – your daughter and your wife?

 

But I have to stop and remember,

You would be here if it was in your control

 

I cannot begin to blame you, for being taken home

I cannot blame God

I cannot blame fate

I just have to rest assured that I will see you again someday

 

For that is the only source of comfort as I get up off my knees

I know you are somewhere driving a bus, though your time here has ceased

I know that you are my guardian angel, and that is what gives me ease

Life Lesson #9: You Are Not in Control

Life Lesson #9:  You are not in control.

Imagine yourself playing a board game.  In this specific board game, how well you do solely depends on the numbers you roll on those two tiny dice.  How would you feel if your life was like that - so dependent on chance?  Is your life like that?  In my opinion, it kind of is.  While you can control certain aspects of your fate, you do not have the ability to control all of them.  This is because there are so many other factors that contribute to your life.  the choices of friends, family, and even total strangers influence your life.  God also play a big part in your life, whether you choose to believe in Him or not.  Don't kid yourself:  not one human being has total control of his or her life. 

Photo and Graphic Courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com

Luckiest of All

Very few people realize the depth of his compassion.  He is under appreciated, because he does not let the outside world see the full extent of what an incredible man he is.  He never begs for attention.  He asks little of anyone.  He does not want to be a burden.  However, he will carry you if you need to be carried, and not look back once.  People pass him by on the street without ever knowing what an extraordinary person they have just passed.  You are lucky if you know him.  You are ignorant if you know him and don't love him.  I am not sure if he chose me, or if I chose him.  Was it God?  Was it fate...or destiny?  I may never know while living on this earth.  However, I guess that makes me the luckiest of all.  The force that brought us together does not necessarily matter as much as the fact that we are together now...and tomorrow doesn't matter yet.

Happy Belated Blogiversary to ME...Again...

Why can I never seem to remember my blogiversary???  Well, my blogiversary was July 2, and it is now July 10.  Last year, I realized on July 7th that my blogiversary was actually July 2nd.  I think there are still reasons to celebrate though - even if it is a little late to celebrate!

When I started blogging two years ago, I never could have imagined how many blessings my blog would provide me along the way.  I started my blog as a way to share my creative writing with others, and to possibly get some feedback. 

I remember not too long ago when I only had 9 followers.  It seemed like I would never reach the 10 followers mark.  I am, now, very proud to say that I have 24 followers!  It pretty much shocks me that so many people care about what I have to say!  I am now getting comments frequently, and I read and appreciate each and every one of them! 

There are not only people from different cities reading my blog, but also different countries!  This excites me more than you know.

These past two years have been so wonderful.  I am glad to be starting on my third year.  Thank you to everyone who has supported me.  I love all of you!  :)  I hope this coming blog-year is even more amazing than the last one.

And who knows?  Maybe next year I will remember my blogiversary...on the right day...

Hopefully I will grow more wise this year, and less forgetful.  Ha!

Until then though, hope you all have a wonderful day, and a year full of hope and fate!  ;)

But Most of All...I Just Believe.

What do I believe in?
Well...
I do believe in God, whether you believe me or not.
Obviously I believe in hope and fate. I believe that bad experiences happen for a reason, and that they always have the potential to make you stronger.
I believe in true love, and that one day I will find it.
I believe in theatre not theater. :)
I believe that if people should be passionate about what they love, because that is an intriguing quality.
I believe that just because someone has left your life for now, does not necessarily mean that they will be gone forever. It's all up to destiny.
I honestly believe that everyone has some good in them, and that everyone has some good to contribute to the world.
I believe that God has a sense of humor - just trust me on that.
I believe in respecting your values, but also having the ability to be open-minded.
I believe in expression.
Individuality.
Creativity.
Faith.
Love.
But most of all...I just believe.

And It's Not Supposed to be Like This; Unlucky in Love.

"And it's not supposed to be like this," she thinks. She doesn't know what to do because this is the first time she's experienced something like this, and Fate seems to be totally against it. God on the other hand is sending mixed signals.

She knows God gave us all free will for a reason, but is it a sin to wish sometimes that she was equivalent to a robot, and God would just make all of the decisions for her?

She also knows that she is not supposed to question God, but how can she not when it seems like she's so unlucky in love?

It seems as if every time she thinks it will finally be right it turns out wrong.

The Inspiration: Hypothetical Coffee.

As some of my friends know, I used to blog on myspace. I used to publish my creative articles there before I made this blog. Well, I just thought people might like to read the myspace post that actually inspired the name of my blog, "Hope, Fate, and and a Little Hypothetical Coffee..." It was something I wrote at a time when so many things felt like they were changing. It was called, "Maybe it’s time to wake up and smell the hypothetical coffee. " So without any further hoopla, please enjoy!



Maybe it’s time to wake up and smell the hypothetical coffee.

It is March 2, 2008. I am sitting here. Thinking. Like always...
Obviously I'm a thinker...I'm pretty insightful at times. However lately it seems like I've been having more trouble with understanding situations. It's not just one or two; it's a multiple kind of thing.

There are so many changes going on right now, and natural instincts of course tell me to hold on. Holding on isn't always an option. Holding on isn't always the way to go. Holding on sometimes is just plain old, plain old not available whatsoever. I need to wake up, smell the coffee and realize this. It isn't just me though; numerous people need to wake up and smell the hypothetical coffee of life. Call me deep. Call me absurd. Call me absolutely insane. The main point of it is still true.

Opportunities are not taken so often. How many people have told you this? Well, maybe it's time to listen to them. Maybe it's time to forgive and forget. Or maybe it's time to apologize. Maybe it's time to open up to someone. Maybe it's time for time. Maybe it's time to simply relax, and live. Life is something that can either be a wasted opportunity or a miraculous experience that will mean so much. Realize what you need to do at this taken for granted time like so many people don't. Do it before the chance escapes you...

Fate says, "Take a number."

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is." -Albert Einstein


I gaze into the silvery eyes of Fate. He tells me to take a number; there are many who have to go before me. I stand behind millions of people who are readying themselves to go and I take a deep breath and quietly whisper "Thank you," because it is not yet my time.

We think we need more time; sometimes it feels as if we get so little.

Is it that we don't have enough time or is it that we do not appreciate the time we are given? There are people who believe both.

I believe that it can be both in a way...

We might not have time to finish a small task for school or work, but will that matter as much in the long run as taking the time to have a serious, long-needed conversation with a good friend?

I am not going to state my opinion right now; it is not really necessary. I just think that it is something to ponder on.

Thinking about what will really matters in the long run can give us a lot of insight to our life, ourselves. It opens up a part of our soul.

Maybe all we really need sometimes is a little dusting out of the soul and finding out what matters.