Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Letter to My Future Self #2

Dear Future self,
How shall I even start?  I have written to you once before, and at that point I was young, with my first real boyfriend, and very naïve as far as love goes.  I didn't know what I was doing with my life, but will I ever really?  Though I am still anxious for the future, I am trying very hard to take things day by day. 
It is very sad to realize that the first time I wrote to you, I had no knowledge of the losses that would occur over the next few years:  most importantly, my dad and grandma.  I am doing alright now, but I can only hope and pray that you (Future Me) are/is doing better.
Anyway, I imagine you will do great things.  I don't know if they will be the same kinds of things that you thought you would do back in December of 2010, but who am I to venture a guess?  I don't know what outfit I'm wearing tomorrow (okay, honestly I,'ll be wearing khakis, my grey Sketchers, and some kind of Rend Lake College shirt because I'll be working, but you get the gist), let alone what I will be doing ten years from now.  And yes, Future Self, I do realize that was a weird run on sentence.  And yes, I realize the last one was a fragment.  And the last.  And the last.  And the last!  Okay, now I'm just being silly.
I can tell you this, if nothing else:  I truly believe in the person you are becoming.  You are becoming a better person every day...even on your bad days.  Like they say, "good things come to those who wait", and I just know better days are ahead for you, my friend.  I don't know how to end this, so see you in a few years, I guess.  :)

Best of luck...Love,


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Letter to My Present Self #2

Dear Present Self, you are doing...okay.  You are trying to deal with the many losses that have occurred over the past year, and you are taking it day by day.  You have to remember that grief is a gradual process.  It is not something that ever completely goes away, AND THAT IS OKAY.  You put a smile on your face every day, and that is awesome in itself.  People continue to tell you how happy you seem, and though you may not always feel that way, I am proud of you for being able to always put on a brave face.  If you need to break down though, it's okay.  Just remember this quote by A.A. Milne:  

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” 


You degrade yourself far too often, but I know you are working on loving yourself each and every day.  Do not let your anxiety or depression get in the way of that.  You are doing good, kid.  Keep making the world a better place, because nothing would be the same without you in it!  Good things are coming your way...some that you already know about, and I am sure that there are even more that you don't!  Hang in there, and remember to live instead of just existing.





Monday, March 9, 2015

Letter to My Past Self #2

If you haven't read my original "Letter to My Past Self", click here.  I wrote this during my first semester of my first year in college, so obviously a lot has changed since then.  I would like to write a new one...over five years later.  Here goes nothing:

Dear Past Self,
How should I even start?  Last time I wrote to you, I thought I had been through the most difficult of hardships.  Frankly, I was wrong.  I have experienced so much more love and loss since I last wrote. 

First of all, I would like to tell you how much you will mature (emotionally) as a young adult, and that you will deal with things you never could have imagined.  Though you may not always see it, you maintain a sense of grace throughout all of your struggles that is absolutely remarkable.
Your education and career path will take an unexpected turn, but take note, that it is a very good change.  You will meet some very special children, and very special teachers, friends, and mentors who will become like family to you.  You will get your first taste of what it feels like to love like a mother does (but don't worry, we don't have kids of our own yet!)
You will also lose some very important people in your life.  All I can say, is treasure every moment you share with your family.  Give them hugs and tell them you love them often.  Celebrate every birthday and holiday with the utmost enthusiasm.  Very soon, those precious moments in your life will become only memories:  make the memories good ones.

With that said, plenty of people love you, and will take you in as if you are their own flesh and blood.  Some of your family will turn their backs on you, but other family members will pop out of the woodwork.  You also have a right to choose your own family by having the most wonderful friends.  Still, proceed with caution:  not everyone is as big-hearted as you are.  Trust people until they give you a reason not to, however when they give you a reason not to, QUESTION EVERYTHING.
In conclusion, don't stress out so much about the future.  Enjoy the little things, and live in the moment.  That may seem like the most cliché thing you've ever read, but you will soon come to realize how true it is. 

Photos Courtesy of: and wherever the Pinterest users got them from. :)

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Playlist of Songs Daddy Used to Sing to Me

When I was little, my dad used to sing a lot of songs to me...while he was brushing my teeth, while we were playing outside, while he was putting me to bed, etc.  These are a few of the songs I remember him singing to me:
1.    Let ‘Em In –Paul McCartney
2.   The Unicorn Song –The Irish Rovers
3.   Kaw-Liga –Hank Williams Jr.
4.   When I’m Sixty-Four –The Beatles
5.   Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini –Brian Hyland
6.   Do Wah Diddy Diddy –Manfred Mann
7.   Barbara Ann –The Beach Boys
8.   Mickey Mouse Club –Mickey Mouse
9.   Rubber Duckie – Ernie Ft. Little Richard
10.  Yellow Submarine –The Beatles
11.  Catch a Falling Star –Perry Como
12.  Walk Like an Egyptian -The Bangles
13.  We Will Rock You -Queen

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

I'm worse than a sad and angsty teenage girl...

Last night, one of our usual customers came into the store I have worked at for over two years and referred to me as a "keeper".  I immediately thought of one of my favorite poems, and began to wonder what exactly she meant when she called me that.  If I am such a "keeper", then why does no one want to keep me?  Perhaps, I am a "keeper", because I am the one who holds onto things for far too long.
And that in itself is so very sad.