Friday, December 31, 2010

The Fairytale That Has Become of 2010.

I have trouble trying to find good enough words to describe 2010. It has been truly ASTOUNDING!  Last year, I worried I was going to be infinitely single - that I was never going to find anyone who completed me. In my journal on January 1, 2010, I wrote:

“I know I started out 2009 the same way, and I sometimes hate to admit it, but I am SO TIRED of  being single!  I don’t know why I am so doomed to be single!  Maybe 2010 will be different.  Maybe I’ll find someone who loves me, and respects me, and appreciates me.  This is what I hope.”

...And so I did. :)  I went out and found myself the man of my dreams, and I really only had to look right in front of me. In 2010, I accomplished the one thing I wanted most.  I cannot believe I found a guy who fit my description of what I looked for in a guy so perfectly. I used to be so bitter about love.  I hated to look at happy couples because I was terrified that I would end up as the lady with fifty cats.  However, I did not, and I am extremely grateful for that.

As for everything else in I mean, I had a great senior year of high school. I believe everyone who says that senior year is the best year, because it really is. With the way my freshman year of high school started out, I had no clue that my senior year of high school would be SO much better, to the extent that it was almost unbelievable. Totally unexpectedly, I was elected prom queen. I was humbled, unbelievably, by that whole experience. I won the award for having the most school spirit. I graduated and ended the long, but essential, journey we call “high school”. I was amazed when I was offered a theatre tuition waiver to college, along with a theatre scholarship. I cannot believe I was once the freshman girl who would stare down at the floor and who liked to make believe she did not exist.

With that said, I also started a new journey. I am now a freshman in college. I fully planned on majoring in theatre at the beginning of the year. Now, honestly, I am not so sure what I want to do with my life. I never knew it would be such a hard decision.  Other things have simply become more important to me than the theatre. Ryan, for example. I am not saying theatre is not at all important to me; it has been a huge part of my life for quite a few years now. I am just not sure how far along theatre and I will travel together, hand in hand.

I have definitely become a different person this year. As for lessons, I have learned many.  There have been people who have disappointed me this year, but of course, that is to be expected. I saw the flaws in someone that I basically considered to be perfect.  No one is perfect. Life teaches me that over and over again, every year. However, I also made many great friends this year. I never knew just how many great people I would meet in college.  I was amazed at how some of the people I met were, and are, so similar to me.  I have a wonderful life, and I am beginning to realize that more and more every day. This year (especially compared to last year) has been so incredibly easy. It has been a piece of cake. I have kept my emotions more in check and I have matured by leaps and bounds.

More people have pleased me than disappointed me.  One great loss I suffered this year was the death of my Papaw. It was totally unexpected and hard for me to cope with at times (even though I hardly ever showed it). I did not know how much I would miss him until he was gone. While that was a major downer, I still cannot forget all of the great memories from this year.

By far, the best thing that came about this year was my relationship with Ryan.  I think it shocked almost everyone who knew us when we suddenly got together. We had been talking for awhile, but not many people knew that our late night facebook conversations would soon become a full blown romantic relationship. Heck, not many people even knew we were having late night facebook conversations. However, I am glad that we did.  I know most people around my age say their relationship will last, and in a lot of cases it doesn’t, but Ryan and I are different.  I just know it will work out between us. I fully see us in fifty years, sitting on our couch together. I love him, and I am truly glad I have had to go through so many hardships to finally find him because now it is so good. I am glad that I waited to be with Ryan because some things are just worth waiting for. ;)

All in all, 2010 has been a blast. I look forward to creating a bunch of fun, new, memories in 2011 with Ryan and all of my friends. I cannot wait to see what this coming year has in store for me!!!!!

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Up and Coming Fashionista...Me??!

I was very proud of my outfit today.  I am turning into quite the fashionista!  ;) 

The quality of this picture isn't very good, but it's the clothes I wore today.  You can't tell from this picture, but my purse matches my shoes!  Ryan gave me the shoes for Christmas, and his sister gave me the purse - I love them!  (P.S. - if you can't read the back of my Converse, they say "Ryans Girl") :) are the shoes:

...And below is the purse!  (I know, not a very good picture, but I took it on my cell phone.  What do you expect?)

What do you think?  Do I have good fashion taste?  ;)

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas 2010!!! :D

Can you believe it's already Christmas Eve 2010?
This Christmas is a bittersweet one for me.  It is our family's first Christmas without my Papaw, but it is also my first Christmas with Ryan.  Tonight, I will be celebrating Christmas with my family and Ryan (thankfully the snow didn't get too bad!) and tomorrow I will be doing the same, hopefully.  I hope you all have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!  Look forward to an exciting, informative post about this past year very soon (since the new year is coming up), and get ready for a lot of great writing in 2011!

I hope all of you have a good holiday (whatever you may be celebrating!)  Just remember, Jesus is the reason for the season! Hallelujah, Jesus Christ was born!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Life Lesson #6: Compatibility is Important in Relationships

Life Lesson #6:  Compatibility is one of the most important things in a relationship.

As of late, this is a lesson that has practically screamed out my name.  I don't think I have ever truly understood how much compatibility means in a relationship until recently.  However, it is very true.  Chemistry may cause the initial attraction, but no relationship will last without compatibility.  This is usually true in friendships also.  Opposites may attract, but similar souls stick together.  Remember that the next time you consider your potential romantic interests, or future friendships!  :)


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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Life Lesson #5: Sometimes People Care, But Can't Show It

Life Lesson #5:  Sometimes someone cares about you in some way, shape or form, but something else gets in the way. 

It could be pride, vanity, selfishness, jealousy, or a number of other things.  Either way, there are many things that can prevent people from showing the love they feel for you.  It's hard sometimes - for us humans to admit that we are wrong sometimes.  Likewise, it also can be hard for people to admit their emotions - how much they care, or why they did what they did.  It's understandable, though it can be very hard to deal with at times.  Sometimes there is someone who meant a lot to you and you just want to hug them, but you can't because something happened between the two of you.  You aren't able to just pretend like nothing happened.  And that's okay.  You shouldn't have to. 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

We've All Got Baggage

"I should tell you, I've got baggage too." 

-Lyrics from the song "La Vi Boheme" from the musical Rent

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Monday, December 13, 2010

My True Passion

"What do you want for supper?"  -My Mom

"I don't know what my passion is anymore!" -Me

After saying that, I realize now what my true passion is:

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Little Joys of Christmastime

All the world is a coffee shop,
with extra whipped cream on top.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Outside it's cold, but inside it's hot.
A plate of cookies sits by the cot.                                                   
Hot chocolate fills the kettle and the pot.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Look at the snowmen as the children play.
They are practically alive on this crisp winter day.
Bring on the bells, the gifts, and the sleigh!
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Carolers pass out candy canes.
Santa rings a bell at the Christmas parade.
Family and friends celebrate the day.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

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Monday, December 6, 2010

Life Lesson #4: Adults Don't Know it All

Life Lesson #4:  Authority figures you once thought were perfect, always have the potential to let you down.

You know how when you were a little kid, you thought everyone older than you was so cool?  You thought your parents were perfect, your teacher was the smartest person in the world, and the older kids always had fun.  Then you hit the teenage years.  Your parents embarrass you, you think your teacher is an idiot, but you still strive to be older and older.  You still look up to the adults, whether you will admit it or not.  Well, you know what?  Sometimes you should, sometimes you shouldn't.  Despite what adults tell you, they do not always have all the answers.  I would know, since I am legally an adult.  We don't know it all.  Even people much older than me don't know everything.  We all make mistakes, and there is always room for improvement in everyone.  If you are a kid, you should still take into account what adults have to say, but after awhile, you need to start forming some of your own opinions.  If you are an adult, don't get too self-confident.  You do not know everything like you think you do.

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

Letter to My Future Self

Dear Future Self,

I wonder what you are like.  What did you decide to do with your life?  I hope you know, because I sure don't.  It's a tough thing:  deciding what you want to do every day for the rest of your life.

I am happy to know that you probably have a wonderful life partner.  If you didn't stick with Ryan, I'll be very disappointed in you.  I know he will always protect you and keep you safe.  You better keep him happy.

I hope the career you chose suits you.  I hope it is fulfilling, but also leaves you time for fun with family and friends.  I hope you are healthy, and still feel like a kid at heart.  Who knows, maybe you have kids of your own by now. 

Gosh, there is so much I want to know about you!  There are so many questions I want to ask you.  Did you ever get a tattoo, or any piercings besides your ears?  Where do you live?  Did you graduate college?  Are you married?  Do you have kids?  How many?  Of course you can't answer these questions for me yet.  I am just looking forward to finding out. 

I feel like I should end this letter with a profound piece of advice, but what can I tell you that you don't already know?  Maybe you should be giving me advice, but I know that isn't possible, though you are wiser and more experienced.  I guess you will just have to teach me what to do from day to day, as I gradually get older.  I bet you didn't do such a bad job with my - our - life.  :)


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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Letter to My Present Self

Dear Present Self,

You are in a pretty good place right now.  Sure, you still have your worries, but who doesn't?  When it really comes down to it, your life is not looking very bad.

You have found someone wonderful who loves you for who you are.  That may sound cliche, but it's the truth.  He is your best friend, and the soulmate you have always desired.  He understands all of the quirks about you and your life that you feared no one ever could.  He is worth all the physical, mental, and emotional battles you have ever fought in your lifetime.

As for college, it started off quite well for you.  Don't you think?  There have been a couple of setbacks and discoveries you  made along the way, but that happens to the best of us.  If nothing else, you have made wonderful friends!  You fit in with them quicker than with any other "clique" you were friends with before.  They seem to really get you, and you hope some of the friendships that you have obtained this year will last for the rest of your life.

Overall, you have had a rather fabulous life thus far.  I know you will continue to do well, as long as you do not compromise your morals or values for anyone.  You have tried that in the past, and it didn't work, so obviously you should not try it again.  It will only bring you down, and I know you can do better than that.  Keep up the good work, and always be compassionate and caring of others, as you always have been.


Monday, November 29, 2010

Letter to My Past Self

Dear Past Self,

You worry too much.  You always have, and maybe you always will.  You shouldn't have to, but it is just in your nature to worry.  You wouldn't really be the same person if you didn't. 

I just want you to know how good your life will be.  There will be times in your life that will test you to the max.  The choice you have to make is whether you will allow yourself to play the role of victim during these tough times, or whether you choose to rise above it all.  I'll be honest with you.  There will be times when you choose to be the victim, but that's okay.  It does not make you a bad person.  After all, you are only human. 

You expect so much out of yourself, and because of that you sometimes expect too much out of others.  As a result of this, you find yourself disappointed every once in awhile - sometimes even more often than every once in awhile.

I know you get lonely a lot.  You have never really had much good luck with relationships, if any.  People have continually taught you that you can trust no one, because they will just leave you in the end.  However, I want you to know:  all of that will soon change.  It may seem like you have to wait forever, but remember that little quote you love so much?  "Some things in life are worth waiting for...even if it means waiting forever."  Yeah, that quote.  You knew it was true before, but you will come to realize you believe it with every fiber of your being.  You will find the one you have been waiting for all of your life.  Well, you will discover him anyway.  By the time you realize he is the one - the soulmate you have been wanting to meet all of your life - he will have been in your life for quite some time.  Suddenly, you will see him in a new light, and a metamorphosis will occur right before your eyes! 

Don't get me wrong; there are people who will let you down in life that you never though would, but you must always be the bigger person. You are so strong.  You have been through so much already, and you can make it through this.  I know you can, because I am you, and you are me.  Together, we can do this.


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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!! :)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!!!!  I know it is a little late, but I hope you all had a marvelous day!  :)  Whether you think so or not, we all have a great deal to be thankful for.  All of us are blessed in different ways.  If nothing else, be thankful of this life, and of how wonderful God is.

What have you done to celebrate today?  I ate lunch with some of my family, and then went to visit a couple of other family members.  It is exciting for me that the countdown to Christmas has started because I LOVE Christmas!!!!!  Now, I am just relaxing, and watching "Charlie Brown Thanksgiving."  You have to love those classics! 

Anyway, I hope all of you have a good day tomorrow - whether you are braving Black Friday shopping, or just sleeping in!  Have some fun and stay safe!

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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Old Journal Entry: November 24, 2009

For quite some time now, I have wanted to share with you one of my old journal entries.  However, I could never quite decide which one to share, or else it just seemed like the wrong time to post it.  Finally though, I am proud to inform you all that I have found the perfect one to share with the world!  Here it is, from one year ago today: 

If you can't read that, below is my translation:
November 24, 2009

Maybe I never really loved you.  Maybe I love you.  Maybe I never fully stopped loving you.  Maybe.


Isn't it weird how I am very poetic, even when I am just writing in my journal?  It is funny to think, and slightly hard to believe, that this is only from one year ago today.  So much has changed since then...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Figuring it Out

Trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life isn't always a simple task.  How do you know if you are headed in the right direction?  It is kind of like putting a puzzle together.  There are so many pieces - so many possibilities.  Which one fits where?  Does it go here or there?

Where will I end up in this complex world full of choices and diversity, people and places, diversity and change?  Will I ever really fit in anywhere, or will I forever be stuck in the constant state of Limbo?  It's a thought provoking question, but there isn't really a definite answer.  Nobody ever really knows where they will end up from day to day.  There are plenty of know-it-alls that will tell you they know, but the truth is, only God knows for sure.

This is because wherever there is room for an answer, there is also room for a sliver of doubt.  We are merely humans; we can do very little to change the future.  We just have to sit back, relax, wait, and watch, as if the future is a movie playing right before our eyes...

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Monday, November 22, 2010

Life Lesson #3: A Warning for College Kids

Life Lesson #3:  There is just as much (or more) drama in college as there is in high school.

Sorry kiddos.  I hate to break it to you, but it's the truth - at least in my case.  Personally, I involve myself in the drama as little as possible, but that doesn't mean I don't see it all around me.  Maybe it's just because I am a theatre major, but I kind of doubt it.  ;)  (Pun intended!) 

Drama exists everywhere, no matter what you choose to do with your life.  Drama is like the ever existent girl (or maybe even guy) in high school who constantly had to one up you in everything.  I mean EVERYTHING!  Listen to the wise words of the song Girl Next Door by Saving Jane if you haven't already, because that is exactly the kind of thing I am talking about.

The one plus about drama in college compared to drama in high school, is that drama in college is usually easier to steer clear of.  Of course, you have to actually want to - unlike some people who say they want to, but really are the cause of all the drama in the first place!  Don't get me wrong.  College started off WAY better for me than high school did.  I am just warning you that if you think your life is suddenly going to be drama free the moment you turn eighteen, you may want to consider taking a dose of reality. 

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Bear Hugs Make Everything Better

I found the above PostSecret on Photobucket, and it kind of brought me back to my childhood.  I can see some of you nodding your heads in agreement.  Don't lie!  I know you are!  ;)  Well, I have no shame, I'll admit it.  When I was little, I totally bought into the whole stuffed animals coming to life at night thing.  Didn't we all at one point or another?  I was a stuffed animal Fuhhh-reak!  Practically all of my stuffed animals had three names.  They all had stories.  They all had pasts, presents, and futures.

My favorite stuffed animal in particular growing up was Noel Chris Wilson - Noel for short.  :)  I cannot deny that I still sleep with him most of the time, even though he is a bear that has obviously seen many days.  I think I got him when I was in the fourth grade, around Christmastime.  Now that I look back on finding Noel, I am not sure what stood out to me about him.  However to this day, if there were a fire, I would save Noel over my iPod or phone ANY day. 

He has been through so many important moments with me.  I cannot tell you how many tears his poor fur has absorbed throughout the years.  He carries so many sentimental memories, and I swear on my life that I will probably bring him with me when I go off and get married.  I think it is true at any age:  sometimes all we need is a great big bear hug!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Life Lesson #2: Never Let Go of a Person Who Understands

Life Lesson #2: 
When you find someone who understands you like no one else ever could, you should never let that person go.

This kind of person is a rare and special gift in someone's life, anyone's life.  Some people may never find a person who understands them so well.  If you find a person like this, don't take the person for granted.  Every other person will just look pale in comparison.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Something to Think About

Something to think about: 

What should you do when something that once saved your life is now threatening to destroy it?

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Monday, November 8, 2010

Life Lesson #1: Happiness Only Costs 25 Cents :)

How awesome was it when you could get everything you wanted in this world for 25 cents?

As children, we appreciated the smallest things in life - a piece of bubble gum, a dandelion, finger painting, and making mud pies.  However, as we grow older, sometimes we forget these little aspects of our life that made us so happy. 

Why are children generally happier?  The answer is simple:  they appreciate and enjoy the finer things in life.  They have no one to impress but themselves.  Adults, on the other hand, often fake a smile, go to dinner parties with people they don't really like, and buy overpriced junk that satisfies them for a moment at the most, but then the attraction seems to dwindle.

Life Lesson #1:  Live today as if you were a child.  Don't let stress get in the way of having a good time.  We don't have time to be embarrassed - we only have time to have fun, and be with those we love.  Forget everything else for a minute.

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Thursday, November 4, 2010

A Toast to Love

She was so lonely, she wanted to die,
until this beautiful boy caught her by surprise.
He said, "Don't do this darlin', just come with me.
I know how you feel; this world is so mean.
But girl, I beg you, just give me the night.
Let me try to make things alright."

She said, "How dare you tell me what I should do. 
Do I look crazy?  I don't even know you!"
"Well girl," he started, "I mean no offense,
but you are the one who wants to jump off this cliff.

She burst into tears and slowly said "Okay.
But what can you do to make tomorrow a better day?"
He said, "Well at this point darlin', I honestly don't know.
But how will you ever find out if you make the choice to go?"

She took a deep breath in, a deep breath out,
and said "Maybe, just maybe, I can try this out."

He said, "Darlin', I'm not perfect - not even close. 
But I'm always a gentleman, so I'd like to make a toast.
I will love you forever, until the day that I die.
As long as you stay, this will never be a lie."

She said, "Alright sir, I'll give you a day,
but I swear if you hurt me, you will send me to my grave."
He laughed and said, "Darlin', funny thing you should say. 
Right before I saw you, I was headed on my way."

She let out a quivering breath,
laughed a nervous laugh.
He hugged her for a long time and whispered,
"Darlin', this won't be the last."

Inspired by the songs:  "Self-Conclusion" by The Spill Canvas, and "When You Were Young" by the Killers
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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween, Ghouls & Boos!!!!!

Happy Halloween, everyone!!!!!  I hope all of you will have a wonderful day today, full of terrifying, spooky, bliss!  With that said, I would like to share with you some pictures of how I enjoyed my Halloween.  (True, it was at a Halloween party a few days before Halloween, but it still counts!)

If you weren't able to guess, I was a Gothic schoolgirl for Halloween.  These pictures should just go to show you that alcohol and drugs are NOT necessary for having a good time!  ;)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The College Life is the Life For Me!

College is so weird sometimes.  Maybe part of the reason I feel that way because I went to such a small high school.  I was so sheltered at my high school.  I went to school every day with the same people.  I knew all of their names.  I could tell you many of their religious and political beliefs.  A good majority of them had the same feelings about...well, pretty much everything.

Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but you get the gist of my point.  College is different.  You can go through a whole semester and not know the name of everyone in your class - let alone their religious or political beliefs!  Sometimes it is kind of nice.  In high school, everyone worries so much about reputations; in college, there is no need to. 

Of course, some would argue that the college life can be lonely at times.  That is a very valid point.  It can be lonely at times, but it can also be very rewarding.  You get to hang out with people who share the same interests as you.  If you feel like being alone in the peace and quiet, you can just go chill out in the library for a few minutes.  You are whoever you say you are.  There are people at college that haven't known you your whole life.  It's like a fresh start, a turn of the page, the beginning of something that will be whatever you make it out to be...

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