To Fake a Smile or to Cry Awhile?

Everyone always says that it is up to you to make yourself happy.  While I believe this to some extent, I am not sure that I totally buy into it.  After the death of a loved one, are you supposed to be a-okay the next day?  When a natural disaster strikes in your community, are you supposed to immediately get over it?

No, I don't think you should be bitter your whole life over something that happened when you were two, but there are just some things that are really difficult to get over.  Why should I have to be happy all the time, and how can I make myself happy if I am constantly being put down?  Sometimes, life just sucks.  Sure, I can fake a smile with the best of them, but why should I always have to?

To be honest, I am not just talking about deaths and natural disasters.  I am talking about friend problems, heartbreak, rejection, feeling alone.  I am talking about the little things.  Sometimes, I just want to be in a bad mood.  If crying makes me feel better in the long run, then why not?  As long as you do not become a generally negative, pessimistic, bitter, cynical person, I think occasional bad moods are healthy to an extent.  If you never feel depressed, angry, lonely, devastated...then how will you ever truly appreciate when something good comes along?



Photo courtesy of:  www.weheartit.com

Save Yourself

"You cannot save people, you can only love them." -Anaïs Nin

I saw the quote above, and it was so ME that I couldn't resist sharing it!  You see, I have this problem.  Actually, it can be both a strength and a weakness at times.  My mother likes to refer to it as my "martyr complex."  Sometimes, I overestimate myself and think that I can save people.  Well, the truth is a person can only be saved if he or she wants to be saved.  All you can do is offer yourself to a person - it is up to the individual whether or not he or she wants to be saved.  Remember this when you feel that you have a heavy burden to carry.  Be humble enough to realize that you do not hold the whole world in your hands.  Everyone has their own free will.  It is up to you, me, and every other human being, to make our own right decisions.

Photos courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com with some editing applied

Sincerely, Chipmunk Cheeks

Hey everyone! I know I have not had a lot of time to post lately (I have even missed a couple Ten Things Tuesdays!) Sooo...I decided to take some time now to give you a little update on my life.

I am home from school today because I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. The picture you see to the left is a picture of me yesterday that was taken right after the surgery (hahaha!) I know I quite resemble a chipmunk, but hopefully the swelling will go down in a couple of days. I actually had five wisdom teeth, and normal people only have four. I guess that just goes to show you that I actually DO have a reason to be so...erm...weird. My mother was relieved. I just wish the extra wisdom tooth would have helped a little with my actual WISDOM!

Well, besides all of that excitement, I am now in the midst of rehearsals for the current musical I am in, Cabaret. I am a member in the girl band/orchestra. No, it is not the actual "orchestra" that plays the music for the show. (Thank you God!!!) I know that is confusing - I freaked out when I first found out because I thought I had to play the trumpet. I was really worried because:

1) I don't know how to play the trumpet. (Yeah, that would've been a problem...)
2) I don't even know how to read music!

Luckily, I just pretend to play the trumpet. I also am going to be an extra party guest. As far as I know, I won't have any lines, but I am still having a good time being in the show. Hey! I get to dance! Besides that, I love being in a show. Period. I have practice most nights, even with a fairly small part, and I have set constructions most Sundays which I LOVE. What can I say? I'm a dork.

I also have auditions for my school play coming up soon, and we are going to do The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie. I am really looking forward to it, especially since it is my senior year.

So, I don't really know what else to say besides that! I am pretty chubby cheeked at the moment, and can only eat soft foods, but such is life! I guess I will post something creative when I can find the time and inspiration. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this! Have a superbly wonderful day! :)

Sincerely,

Chipmunk Cheeks

My Feelings About Social Networking.

The following is something I wrote for English. I hope you like it!...

Social networking has become quite popular over the past few years. Websites like Myspace, Facebook, or Twitter are used by people as young as thirteen or fourteen to people as old as fifty or sixty. People use these websites for various reasons. A fourteen year old girl might use Myspace to post cute pictures of herself, or maybe she'll want one just because "everybody else" has one. A sixty year old man might use Facebook to reconnect with old high school friends or stay in touch with grandkids. A thirty year old single mom may us Twitter to update her family and friends on how the kids are doing or even to use her profile much like a dating website to connect with other singles in her area.

Social networking websites definitely have their advantages. However, they also have plenty of disadvantages too. Social networking websites are very dangerous if you do not use them properly. People are not always who they say they are on the Internet, and social networking is no different. Think about it. A social networking website is the perfect place for criminals - especially sexual offenders.

A forty-five year old man can pose as a fifteen year old boy and talk to a fifteen year old girl. It is really that simple. Almost everyone who knows technology at all could go to Google and search for a picture of a young by. After the problem is solved, everything else comes easily.

Yes, you are supposed to agree to the terms and conditions of your preferred social networking website, but can you honestly say that you read them? How many people don't even skim the terms and conditions when they sign up, let alone read them word for word? That is why I believe that nobody, especially young children, should put information out there that is too identifying. Don't post anything that you don't want the whole world to see. Just because it's "private" doesn't mean it's safe.

The Problem With Labels.

I found the picture above, and it really struck me as interesting. If you haven't already, read it carefully. A GENUINELY FAKE watch?! Well, I'll put that one on my Christmas list for sure!

Chances are, if that sign did not say that the watches were actually fake, people who were not that educated about watches might buy a watch, thinking that it is genuine. People might be confused when they first see this sign, but hopefully they will figure out what it means after a minute or two. THE WATCHES ARE FAKE! *Gasp!!!!!* It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

Think about it. What if everyone had a sign hanging on their chest that revealed a secret about them? Sure, your mama might have told you not to judge a book by it's cover, but honestly, haven't we all at some point?

Like the Bible in Matthew 7:3 says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" That is a really good question. We get upset at people for judging as, but we continue to judge other people. Of course, it's natural. We are only human, though we should always try to show less judgment for those around us. That doesn't mean we should totally ignore people's flaws, but we should forgive them.

Yes, a good number of cheaters will still cheat, liars will still lie, and abusers will still abuse. However, the ones who actually do change will most likely still be cast out of society. They will still have that label for doing whatever it is that they did in the past. It is true; we deserve to know what they did for our own safety. The one thing that we need to remember though, is that we are all human. We all have made mistakes. We all have wronged someone. We all have had to put up with the consequences of our actions in one way or another, and we ALL have the ability to change. So despite our differences, we all have that one little thing in common, if nothing else.

We aren't really all that different than the watches really. Humans are constantly trying to overcome the negative labels that society has cast upon us. Maybe it is time to stop labeling so much, and start listening.

Going Away From the Flow.

Suddenly it hits her like a bucket of freezing water after just waking up in the morning. Everything that has been clogging up her brain finally releases itself from her head. The problem is that she doesn't know who she is anymore. Used to, these things seemed to be so easy to figure out for her. Now, she questions herself constantly. Am I happy or depressed? Am I really lonely, or is it just my mind playing tricks on me? Am I trapped, or do I not want to be free?
She thinks maybe that this is just something everyone goes through, but she really doesn't know. She is tired of feeling numb, and full of emotions at the same time. However, it is hard when she never knows whether to show her emotions to other people, or to hide them. Who can she trust anymore? Honestly? The world keeps showing her over and over again that she can only trust herself, but yet she seems to trust others so easily! Sometimes, she doesn't know whether it's a blessing or a curse!
She is tired of just going with the flow and just waiting for something to happen, but what other choice does she have?! She wants to cannon ball into the water (freezing or not), but she doesn't even know how to jump! And if she did know how to jump, who would be there to catch her anyway? She is so unsure anymore. She wants to separate herself from the flow. She wants to flee from it with the burning passion resonating in her heart...
But how?

Have Faith, My Dear.

Just have faith they say,
It won't always be this way.

Don't go astray, my dear,
You won't always have to fear.

Keep your problems at bay,
And someday you will be repaid.

From the problems you steer clear,
And to the rules you adhere.

So now you may feel dismay,
but someday it will all be okay.
The answer might not be near,
but someday your problems will disappear.

Just have faith, my dear.

What is She...Fantasy or Reality?

Lately, she just feels as if there is something missing. There is a hole in her heart, but she isn't quite sure how to fill it. What could it be? She wonders, but she can't quite explain it, or maybe she just doesn't want to admit it.

She cannot continue to lie to herself, however. Lying to herself has become like a virus that cannot be cured unless she accepts it. She has to accept what is the truth.

She laughs bitterly because she has no problem accepting other people for their flaws, but when it comes to her own, she acts as if she doesn't even notice. It is like she believes that if tells herself that she is, then she is, and if she tells herself that she isn't, then she isn't.

And reality will surface at some point...don't fool yourself, my dear! Reality will surface, and if you do not accept it now, then you will be overtaken by its mighty waves. So shove your fantasy aside now, and let your reality engulf you, before it's too late...

Tell me, is she real...or just a figment of your imagination?

And You Wonder Why Tommy Can't Tie His Shoes...

I am sure a lot of you can remember when you learned to ride your bike, when you lost your first tooth, but what about when you first learned to tie your shoes? It is something that rarely, if ever, crosses our minds because it has become so habitual. Put on shoe. Make an 'x' with the laces. One lace goes under and then pull it tight. Make one bunny ear. Around the tree. Make another bunny ear...and viola! You've tied your shoe.

However today my lunch made me think about tying my shoes. Yes...you read it right; my lunch made me think about tying my shoes. Of course you ask why. Why would popcorn chicken have anything to do with tying your shoes?

You see, my meal was what is called a 'laptop' from KFC. (If you don't know what a laptop is, it is basically a kid's meal from KFC, and the box is in the shape of a laptop.) The box always has fun facts or games for young children to do. So I look down today, and I see detailed directions on how to tie your shoes!

Can't you just imagine this: "Mommy, I wanna learn how to tie my shoes! Teach me!" "Just read your box from KFC, honey. It explains everything." "Um, only one problem." "What is it Tommy?" "I can't read yet."

My question to KFC is: If a child is too young to tie their shoes, then how in the heck will they read the directions that explain how to do it?!?!

Thank You To Write Love on Her Arms.

I just finished an amazing story by a girl named Renee Yohe. She is the person who inspired the movement known as "To Write Love on Her Arms," and she has gone through so much more than most of us will ever have to go through. You think you have a lot of problems, well you read this book and then ask yourself that question again.
The book is called Purpose for the Pain, and of course I am in love with that title. I believe that there is a reason for everything, and even if something may seem like a misfortune now it could just be a blessing in disguise. I am not even sure how to describe this book in a way that will capture the emotion in this girl's story.
Most of the words in Purpose for the Pain were actually hand written journal entries by Renee herself. She has such a poetic way of describing things, and it makes you feel very sorry for her, but then you also feel so full of hope at the same time. You know that it will end up okay because she is still here today to talk about her experiences. She also thanks God for her blessings, and clearly states that her recovery and healing was all because of Him.
If you did not already know, hope is a very meaningful word to me. There was a time in my life when I do not know what I would have done without hope. There are still times in my life I do not know what else to do but hope. Hope is a foundation for so many people. There are people surviving, depending, relying on hope. We need to help give everyone hope. No matter how cheesy this sounds, we all need to pull together and save some lives.
To Write Love on Her Arms is an organization that gives so many people hope. I am sure it has saved many lives by just existing. It shows us that there is a point to our lives, and that we are not just living for ourselves. It is part of God's plan or else it would not be here. You are part of God's plan too, and that I think is one of the main reasons Purpose for the Pain was written. It was written to save lives. So please join me in supporting To Write Love on Her Arms. Go to the website and read the story of how it all started, and then read Purpose for the Pain, and know that there truly is a purpose for the pain.
http://www.twloha.com/
www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms

It's Falling Into Place.

You know how people say that finally that their life is falling into place? Well, I think my life might be going through that process right now. Sure, things change, there is still drama, problems, and everyday difficulties. Yes, friends grow apart and disappoint you, and you learn that you can't always make everyone happy.
I just feel more whole this year than I've felt in a really long time. Even though there are still problems and everyday anxieties, it seems like I am dealing with them better.
I am definitely not perfect, but I feel that I am becoming a better person. I have friends that are making me a better person. I have more control over my life than I have had in a really long time, if not ever. For so long I allowed others to have control of my life, and finally I am getting the backbone to be able to take some control of my own life. I may not have taken total control yet, but I at least feel that I have more than I did in the past.
There are many people who have helped me, and continue to help me through my life journey, but I think a big reason why my life fell into place was me. My attitude changed, my insecurities lessened, and I changed. I am not the same girl I was when I started my freshman year, or even at the end of my sophomore year.
So just know that if you're having problems right now that they will end. If right now isn't the greatest time in your life, then wait. Look forward to your future, and try to love every moment you have in your life! Appreciate not only the big things, but also the little quirks of life. Allow people to help you, and allow everything to fall into place.
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. "

If One Door Closes...

I am sure the majority of you have heard at least one or two sayings very similar to these: "God never shuts one door without opening another," or "When one door closes another door opens." I think sayings like these are uplifting and comforting.
During a rough time I can look at these words, listen to them, or hear them, and there is some amount of comfort that accompanies them. Maybe words don't fix all of your problems, but they can definitely be a start.
One of my favorite words in the whole English language is "hope." It is a simple, four-letter word, but it means so much to me. It has played a big part in my life. I may be young, but I know that hope is one of the things that has given me the strength to survive. Of course, I know all blessings have come from God; I'm not trying to disrespect that aspect. I am just so grateful for the strength to hope that God has provided me with.
I am not trying to make my life sound like a sad, sob story. My life has been amazing compared to many others in the world, but we all have our rough patches and times that we need hope. We need that extra boost of strength to relieve us. I've had my times and you've probably had yours.
Luckily, during these times, we have words that can comfort us, "God never shuts one door without opening another." If hearing those words in a time of need, wouldn't you just want to inhale a breath of fresh air and thank God for life?!
However, if for some reason all the doors are closed, a song called "My Wish" by the band Rascal Flatts tells us what to do. "And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window..." That is one of my most favorite parts of the song, if not my favorite. The whole song is inspiring and uplifting, and also has a very good message with a lot of truth behind it.
Just remember on those seemingly hopeless days that if one door closes another is bound to open. Maybe it won't be today, or tomorrow, or even this year that a miraculous change will occur. It could take years for you to realize what good you have gained from a horrible experience.
As I have said many times, and many have said before me, everything happens for a reason. There is some greater purpose for the trials and tribulations we go through at any given time. We always have God and we should always have hope because, "God never shuts one door without opening another."

And Yet...

It is sometimes difficult to grasp when you try so hard, and yet...

That is the problem right there: the "and yet..." And yet you aren't good enough, old enough, pretty or handsome enough, tall enough, smart enough. There are so many times when someone might claim that you are not enough. It isn't right in many cases, but it happens.

Okay, so maybe your two year old sister is not big enough to ride The Torturer at the local theme park; that's understandable. However, when someone makes you feel inferior or takes you for granted, it is a much different situation.

It's just you cannot change the other group of people by force. It would be nice sometimes if it were that easy, but life isn't easy.

You can't change the past, as many people before me have said. You can change how you are in your present and future; so much of it depends on your attitude. That statement does not necessarily mean if you think positively everything will be great all the time. Everything is definitely not great all the time. That's just the way it goes.

However, it sure can make your life a heck of a lot better! As the late and great Randy Pausch said, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play play the game."

Is Ignorance Always Bliss?

Certain people are just so ignorant sometimes. They are full of themselves, yet insecure. You can hear them lament from miles away out of their own self pity.

However this is not always obvious to everyone. Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out whether a person is real or fake. So many people are not real today because they strive to be like a Barbie doll or maybe it is just their personality.

There are also people who try to be genuinely real most of the time, but we all mess up sometimes. Obviously we are not all perfect, and that is okay. It is just that some people get to the point of being fake, that you don't know what to think is the truth anymore. You do not know if what they do or say is the truth or just another lie.

It gets to me when someone begs and begs for something that they don't even care enough to give in return, to a person who has also begged and begged to them. That might not make sense to everyone, but it has a good point and it makes a darn lot of sense to me.

I wish people would not be so thoughtless to ask for something that they will not give back. I am not saying if you give someone a Christmas present they should give you one. I am not even speaking in terms of material things. I am saying that if you ask for kindness from someone else you should probably be kind in return.

I think this applies for many attributes like kindness and trust. Of course there are mistakes or problems or disagreements every once in awhile, but I feel that if all of the participants in the relationship are willing, then some kind of peaceful decision can be made.

Maybe we are not able to see all people for who they really are all the time. However, sometimes we need to take the responsibility for opening our own eyes...

She is great, but she wants to be greater.

She stares at the clock ticking and tocking. She wishes that she could totally take off her uncomfortable mask and not worry so much about what others think. She has let a select few people inside her soul. She longs to let in more but she is scared, so scared.

She thinks so much of so many people and a good amount of them don't even know. Why don't they know? Why does she have to be so worried?

She is great, but she wants to be greater.

She tries to be so good, and hates when she is not able to live up to her very high expectations. She needs to know that she doesn't have to live up to those expectations. A part of her already knows, but it is the other part that is the problem.

She is in a learning stage right now; it is a part of her life when she is feeling such mixed emotions. One day she is totally ecstatic; the next day she could be depressed and self pitying.

She is not sure if she even knows what it is that she wants anymore. She thought she had it all figured it out a long time ago.

However she had not figured it out; she had not figured it out at all.