The Stages of Grieving

My cat looks up to the heavens,

As I fall down to my knees

 

I know that praying will not bring you back,

But perhaps it will give me some ease

 

Ease to go on without you

Ease to wake up every day

Ease to bring me some clarity, when I see no reason to stay

 

My heart knows you want me to be happy

I long to set my anxieties and depression free

But how can I even begin to cope without you standing beside me?

 

Someday I will walk down the aisle,

Wearing a pretty white dress,

Without my father to give me away –

To release me from my nest

 

I will be surrounded by people who love me,

But that will never replace,

The look I wish I could have seen, on your aging face

 

You will always be with me,

I know that to be true, but sometimes I selfishly wonder,

“How could you?”

 

How could you leave me here, on this dreadful earth?

How could you leave me here, as you rolled away in a hearse?

How could you leave me here, at such a pivotal point in my life?

How could you leave us here alone – your daughter and your wife?

 

But I have to stop and remember,

You would be here if it was in your control

 

I cannot begin to blame you, for being taken home

I cannot blame God

I cannot blame fate

I just have to rest assured that I will see you again someday

 

For that is the only source of comfort as I get up off my knees

I know you are somewhere driving a bus, though your time here has ceased

I know that you are my guardian angel, and that is what gives me ease

Life Lesson #9: You Are Not in Control

Life Lesson #9:  You are not in control.

Imagine yourself playing a board game.  In this specific board game, how well you do solely depends on the numbers you roll on those two tiny dice.  How would you feel if your life was like that - so dependent on chance?  Is your life like that?  In my opinion, it kind of is.  While you can control certain aspects of your fate, you do not have the ability to control all of them.  This is because there are so many other factors that contribute to your life.  the choices of friends, family, and even total strangers influence your life.  God also play a big part in your life, whether you choose to believe in Him or not.  Don't kid yourself:  not one human being has total control of his or her life. 

Photo and Graphic Courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com

Merry Christmas 2010!!! :D

Can you believe it's already Christmas Eve 2010?

This Christmas is a bittersweet one for me.  It is our family's first Christmas without my Papaw, but it is also my first Christmas with Ryan.  Tonight, I will be celebrating Christmas with my family and Ryan (thankfully the snow didn't get too bad!) and tomorrow I will be doing the same, hopefully.  I hope you all have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!  Look forward to an exciting, informative post about this past year very soon (since the new year is coming up), and get ready for a lot of great writing in 2011!

I hope all of you have a good holiday (whatever you may be celebrating!)  Just remember, Jesus is the reason for the season! Hallelujah, Jesus Christ was born!

Figuring it Out

Trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life isn't always a simple task.  How do you know if you are headed in the right direction?  It is kind of like putting a puzzle together.  There are so many pieces - so many possibilities.  Which one fits where?  Does it go here or there?

Where will I end up in this complex world full of choices and diversity, people and places, diversity and change?  Will I ever really fit in anywhere, or will I forever be stuck in the constant state of Limbo?  It's a thought provoking question, but there isn't really a definite answer.  Nobody ever really knows where they will end up from day to day.  There are plenty of know-it-alls that will tell you they know, but the truth is, only God knows for sure.

This is because wherever there is room for an answer, there is also room for a sliver of doubt.  We are merely humans; we can do very little to change the future.  We just have to sit back, relax, wait, and watch, as if the future is a movie playing right before our eyes...

Images courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

Dear World

I am sorry I have not written in so long.  I keep meaning to write, but life keeps getting in my way.  Between school, rehearsals, and my social life, I just haven't had much time.  However, I will try to write very soon.  God knows I need to.  Please don't give up on me yet!  :)

The Million Dollar Question.

“Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” –Henry Miller


Is it possible to be too passionate about doing what you love?  Can you become so engrossed with one hobby, that your desire to do it eventually runs out?  It is a question that has been pestering my mind, as of late.  It is making me ask myself over and over again, “What do I really want to do with my life?”  What is more important to me in the future – having a family, or a successful career?  How do I see myself in 20 years?  Where will I end up?  There are so many questions; it can get to be totally overwhelming at times!  I know this happens to many college students, but I sure didn’t think I would be one of them!  I have had a plan set in place for awhile now!  I thought I knew without a doubt what I wanted, but now I’m not so sure. Lately, I cannot stop reevaluating everything.  I only hope that I can make the right decisions.  Thank God that everything happens for a reason. I hope that saying is true now, more than ever.

Luckiest of All

Very few people realize the depth of his compassion.  He is under appreciated, because he does not let the outside world see the full extent of what an incredible man he is.  He never begs for attention.  He asks little of anyone.  He does not want to be a burden.  However, he will carry you if you need to be carried, and not look back once.  People pass him by on the street without ever knowing what an extraordinary person they have just passed.  You are lucky if you know him.  You are ignorant if you know him and don't love him.  I am not sure if he chose me, or if I chose him.  Was it God?  Was it fate...or destiny?  I may never know while living on this earth.  However, I guess that makes me the luckiest of all.  The force that brought us together does not necessarily matter as much as the fact that we are together now...and tomorrow doesn't matter yet.

N. D. Pendent ;)

One of the most beautiful and envied traits of America is its independence.

I hope all of you had a fun and safe Fourth of July!  (No matter what country you are from!) ;)

As for me, I celebrated by going to a carnival with my boyfriend, and then just spending some quality time with him!

What did you do to celebrate?  I'd love to hear from YOU!  :)

With that said, have a good night, and I'm sure I will be writing soon! 

May God bless you and be with you always.  :)

Photo Courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

Nice to Meetcha. (:

Hello there, everyone! Well, today is going to be a more personal post than you usually see! I am very happy to have gotten quite a few new followers in the past few days, and I would like to introduce myself to you. :) So...sit back, relax, and let's get to know each other a little bit better, shall we?
Yup, that girl right up there is me! It is a picture of me right before my graduation, on May 28th. I graduated high school! It has been an interesting four years, let me tell you. But enough of that.
I'm Molly! :) I am seventeen, going on eighteen. One thing you really need to know: THEATRE IS MY LIFE!!!!! I love acting - it is my passion, and I am totally in love with it! However, I also enjoy writing and psychology. I love to act, read, sing, dance, bowl, listen to music, and tons of other stuff! I love God!!! I spend way too much time on the computer, but hey, that's just me. I am a pretty shy person, honestly. It might take me awhile to warm up, but once I do I can be pretty hilarious, not gonna lie! I am also pretty deep though, which not everyone realizes. I have a serious side. I am very accepting and open-minded, or at least, that's what I like to think of myself. :)
Right now, it is summer (duh). The past few days I have pretty much just been enjoying that fact. I usually don't enjoy being bored, but it has been kind of nice not to have a planned schedule and routine. I am bowling though, on a summer league with a few friends, which is a blast! I have bowled on a league since the fourth grade, but I have only bowled on summer league since last summer. I am hoping to maybe get a job this summer too, so wish me luck! Really, I just wanted to write this blog so I could introduce myself to my new readers, and allow my old readers to know a little bit more about me! :D I hope you all have enjoyed reading it. And I would ALWAYS love to know more about you, so feel free to share. Leave me comments, and express your thoughts on anything and everything! There is one thing I would like to ask you to do before you before you go though...PLEASE VOTE IN THE POLL CURRENTLY ON MY PAGE! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF ON MY BLOG! I would really appreciate it! :) If you ever would like me to write about something that you do not see I have blogged about already, PLEASE leave a comment! I would LOVE to hear from you, in any way, shape or form! With that said, I hope you all have a great day, and a wonderful summer!!!
Love,
Molly (:

But Most of All...I Just Believe.

What do I believe in?
Well...
I do believe in God, whether you believe me or not.
Obviously I believe in hope and fate. I believe that bad experiences happen for a reason, and that they always have the potential to make you stronger.
I believe in true love, and that one day I will find it.
I believe in theatre not theater. :)
I believe that if people should be passionate about what they love, because that is an intriguing quality.
I believe that just because someone has left your life for now, does not necessarily mean that they will be gone forever. It's all up to destiny.
I honestly believe that everyone has some good in them, and that everyone has some good to contribute to the world.
I believe that God has a sense of humor - just trust me on that.
I believe in respecting your values, but also having the ability to be open-minded.
I believe in expression.
Individuality.
Creativity.
Faith.
Love.
But most of all...I just believe.

So Much to Gain.

A very close friend of mine led a Bible study tonight. I felt very overwhelmed by the love of God while he was speaking. In fact, I actually cried. Yes, that's right. Now, unless you know me very well, you probably don't know this, but I am actually not much of a crier. Sure, I cry every once in awhile, but usually more when I am mad than any other time.

However, for some reason tonight I felt moved. My friend was so into what he was saying. You could tell that he felt everything that he said with his whole heart. I know I am not always the best person that I could be. None of us are. If we do not have anyone else to go to though, we always have God. God is the only real constant. Period. No questions asked.

If you do not believe in God, I respect your opinion, and I will not bash it. I am not the kind of person who thinks I am better than anyone else because I believe in God. Those kinds of Christians are the ones who give the people who do believe a bad name.

No, I believe I am of the same equality as everyone else. I am just aware of Jesus Christ's free gift to me. When He died on the cross, he did it for ALL of us. He gave us all a chance, like the free space on a Bingo board. It is our choice whether to take it or leave it. All I ask of you after reading this, is to just please think about what I said. Give God a chance. There is nothing to lose, but there is so much to gain!

Sincerely, Chipmunk Cheeks

Hey everyone! I know I have not had a lot of time to post lately (I have even missed a couple Ten Things Tuesdays!) Sooo...I decided to take some time now to give you a little update on my life.

I am home from school today because I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. The picture you see to the left is a picture of me yesterday that was taken right after the surgery (hahaha!) I know I quite resemble a chipmunk, but hopefully the swelling will go down in a couple of days. I actually had five wisdom teeth, and normal people only have four. I guess that just goes to show you that I actually DO have a reason to be so...erm...weird. My mother was relieved. I just wish the extra wisdom tooth would have helped a little with my actual WISDOM!

Well, besides all of that excitement, I am now in the midst of rehearsals for the current musical I am in, Cabaret. I am a member in the girl band/orchestra. No, it is not the actual "orchestra" that plays the music for the show. (Thank you God!!!) I know that is confusing - I freaked out when I first found out because I thought I had to play the trumpet. I was really worried because:

1) I don't know how to play the trumpet. (Yeah, that would've been a problem...)
2) I don't even know how to read music!

Luckily, I just pretend to play the trumpet. I also am going to be an extra party guest. As far as I know, I won't have any lines, but I am still having a good time being in the show. Hey! I get to dance! Besides that, I love being in a show. Period. I have practice most nights, even with a fairly small part, and I have set constructions most Sundays which I LOVE. What can I say? I'm a dork.

I also have auditions for my school play coming up soon, and we are going to do The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie. I am really looking forward to it, especially since it is my senior year.

So, I don't really know what else to say besides that! I am pretty chubby cheeked at the moment, and can only eat soft foods, but such is life! I guess I will post something creative when I can find the time and inspiration. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this! Have a superbly wonderful day! :)

Sincerely,

Chipmunk Cheeks

2010 WILL be a Great Year!

"Every story has an end, but in life every end is just a new beginning."

I am not sure who said or wrote the quote above. To tell you the truth, I found that saying on a myspace graphic. However, I think it carries a very appropriate attitude to start off the new year with. Do not think of what you lost in 2009; think of what you will gain in 2010. 2009 is a chapter that has already been written. Your work is complete, your mistakes were made, your lessons were learned.

I know I made numerous mistakes in 2009, but I learned many lessons too. It is possible that I even learned more than I made mistakes. With every mistake, there is the wonderful opportunity to learn. Our mistakes that we learn from help mold us into better individuals. Change is inevitable and essential in our ever-changing world. It is something we can try to run from, but we cannot hide from at. However, why would we want to? Change is natural, beautiful, and constant. Change is about the only thing in our lives that is constant, with the exception of God.

Besides, if we did not have change, what would we have? Criminals would never stop committing crimes, drug addicts would never go into rehabilitation, and babies would never stop crying, pooping, and spitting up. Think about it! What would our world come to?! We would have one way of doing things, one boring pattern of life, and nothing new to look forward to! Change is a blessing, although we may not always realize it. I am confident that though there will be many changes, 2010 WILL be a great year for me, and as long as you keep an optimistic attitude, 2010 WILL be a great year for you too!

My Thoughts & Musings From 2009.

I figured that since we are about to embark on a new year, I would write about some of my thoughts and musings from 2009.
Like any year, 2009 was a year of change. However, I think some of the changes that took place in 2009 were bigger than many of the changes I have had in most of my previous years. 2009 was a roller coaster ride with a lot of ups, downs, and definitely loops. I learned some important lessons in 2009 that turned me into the person I am today. I believe that these lessons will come in handy later in life. Life threw a lot of obstacles my way, but I fought back, kicking and screaming.

One of the major lessons I learned this year was that people are not always what they appear to be. I know that is an age old saying, and that people usually don't give it a second thought. This year though, I learned that it is an absolute TRUTH. It is not something to just roll your eyes at. You may think you know someone, but you might not. Especially when you first meet someone, it is easy to get caught up and jump into something, whether it be a friendship or a relationship. However, I have learned that you should not jump blindly; you should always keep one eye open. There may be no flashing lights or "danger ahead" signs to warn you that something is wrong, so it is hard to know when something is not quite right. That is why you need to be very careful.

Another lesson I learned this year was taught to me by an unlikely teacher. "Some things in life are worth waiting for...even if it means waiting forever." I have learned that I am worth waiting for. I am confident that if somebody really loves me, they will be willing to wait for me. This year, my values have been tested more than they ever have been before. I had to decide which direction I wanted to go, and it was an extremely hard decision to make. However, I have learned that if you are with someone, you should not have to change your values, and they should not have to change. They may choose to change, but they shouldn't have to. It may not be easy, but if it is meant to be, it WILL be worth it. Like the song "Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield says: "Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for." I definitely believe this. Now, I wish I could say that I'd fallen in love in 2009, and [insert name here] is EVERYTHING to me, but it hasn't happened yet. Of course, I am willing to wait, because when love does blossom it will be worth it. People tell me it will happen when I least expect it. While this answer does not exactly satisfy me, I tend to agree that love will happen.

As I mentioned earlier, this year has been a year of major change. I have realized that close friends drift away, and this year has been no different. Some of my close friends have drifted away, whether it was totally, or just partially. However, when I was at a couple of my lowest points, it seemed like the most random person would start talking to me. I appreciate these people so much. They might never know who they are, but I am very glad that they intervened when they did. They were in the right place at the right time, and I am very grateful for that.

This year, I really have matured a lot. There have been times this year when I would do something that I never would have done in the past, and I would realize that I actually have a backbone. I have made new friends, and grown closer to old. I am not going to lie. There have been times when I acted happy even though I wasn't. There were also times when I bottled up my emotions at school, and then blew up at my mom once I got home. Sometimes, it just happens. While some people think that I am always happy, nobody ever lives up fully to that expectation.

I am going through a major transitional period right now. I have gotten a taste of the college life this year, and sometimes it is hard to wake up and realize that I am still in high school. I won't be for long, but that really does not change much right now.

Sometimes people think I am so naive, but I am NOT stupid. I have expanded my open-mindedness this year, and while I have never been a very judgemental person, I have become even less judgemental. After all, isn't there a saying about being nice to everyone, because you never know what internal battles they may be facing? I agree with that fully. I try my best to be nice to everyone, because I know what it feels like to be the outsider.

Overall, 2009 was not a bad year. It was rocky, but it had its perks too. However, I still wish for an even BETTER 2010. Remember: 2009 may have been divine, but 2010 is the year to start over again! So with that, I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! May God bless you in all that you do!

Love always,
Molly :)

Your Time is Only YOUR Choice.

"For in a minute there are many days," is a quote from the beloved Shakespeare play, Romeo and Juliet. I saw that quote once somewhere, and it really made me think. At the time I saw it, I think a lot of things were happening in my life really fast, all at once, and that is why it struck me as ironic. Today, I thought of that quote again, and the point of it struck me once more. It made me think about how truthful that quote was.
Think about a minute. Think about HOW MUCH can happen in a mere sixty seconds. A baby can be brought into this world, while another person breathes their last breath. A family can be brought together, or a family can be torn apart. A person can have perfectly good intentions one second, but because of a momentary lapse of judgement - a stupid mistake - their life can be changed forever.
SO much can happen in one minute. Also, if something can happen in one minute, then what can happen in one month?! So much can happen in one, teeny-tiny, thirty-one day month! The cycle just goes on and on. The moments turn to days, the days turn to weeks, the weeks turn to months, the months to years, and so on. It goes on every day; it just keeps going on whether you are loving life, or your world is crashing down upon you. That thought can either be eerie or comforting. It could be eerie because of the fact that you can't stop it, but it can also be very comforting. No matter what you do, time will just keep rolling along. I prefer to look at it is comforting, because what is the point of worrying about something that only God can stop anyway?
Remember that time is inevitable. However, what you do to make use of that time is your choice, and your choice only.

TGFS: Thank God For Summer!

Summer is a time to feel relaxed. People wait eagerly all year for summer because it is so full of possibilities. It is a time of family fun, grilling out, being lazy, going on exotic vacations, hanging out with friends, summer romances, baseball games, little kids splashing in the pool, sunburns, ice cream and snow cones, the park, and teenage girls stretched out on a towel trying their best to get a tan. Perhaps it is just a break from the stress of every day life.

However, summer is more than that. It means something different to everyone. Summer is a time of peace. It is a time of getting to know yourself better. You have the time to reflect and meditate. Maybe you have more activity in the summer, or maybe you look forward to the summer because you can just be lazy.

Either way, summer is one of the most popular seasons for a lot of different reasons. To me, summer is like all good things: it must come to an end, and if there was too much of it, it would become a bad thing. Luckily, summer is balanced out exactly as it should be! We get enough of it, but not too much! God really knew what he was doing when he created summer. :)

Just Stand.

I found a Japanese proverb today that is very simple, but I think a lot of people can relate to it. It says, "Fall seven times, stand up eight." How true is that? Its point is very cliche; if you trip and fall you have to get back up again. If you get back up again, stand taller and prouder than you did the last time.

We will all take various 'falls' in our lives, whether it is just a little trip in our step, or a horrible fall down to rock bottom. Many of us experience both of these different 'falls' at some point in our lives.

However, if we just stay down on the ground we will not make any progress. Likewise, if we half-heartily stand back up, we will just keep tripping.

In contrast if we stand strong we will continue to stand. Then if ever we may fall again we will still remember how we stood strong in our hearts, and be able to do it again and again whatever troubles may come our way.

Ephesians 6:13-15
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

And It's Not Supposed to be Like This; Unlucky in Love.

"And it's not supposed to be like this," she thinks. She doesn't know what to do because this is the first time she's experienced something like this, and Fate seems to be totally against it. God on the other hand is sending mixed signals.

She knows God gave us all free will for a reason, but is it a sin to wish sometimes that she was equivalent to a robot, and God would just make all of the decisions for her?

She also knows that she is not supposed to question God, but how can she not when it seems like she's so unlucky in love?

It seems as if every time she thinks it will finally be right it turns out wrong.

Let's Make the Year 2009 a Divine One... [Happy New Year!!!]

Well, well, well. 2008 was quite the year. I loved, laughed, lost, but most of all lived. It was a year of change for me, but I guess that is probably what everyone else is thinking too isn't it? Have you noticed how many people talk about how much their life has changed this year? Of course, it's not abnormal. Things change every day not just every year.

2008 was a great year, but I am looking forward to 2009 being an even better year! I am coming into it with optimism, and very much hoping it will be amazing! I hope I can strengthen my relationship with God, become closer to friends, make new friends, better myself, and find out more about myself.

I hope I can impact people's lives. I know that many people have impacted mine, and I want to give back. I hope that I get the chance to this year.

Overall, 2008 was a fabulous year. It was swell, hunky-dory, and just plain AMAZING!!! So tell me, did you have a good 2008? Please, respond...I'd love to hear about your 2008! Just the same, I wish you a great 2009! Let's all make sure we make the year 2009 a divine one... :)
Happy new year everyone!

The Magical Spirit of Christmas.

Christmas is a time of giving to others. It is a time for family, friends, and other loved ones. It is a time to thank God. Christmas means many things to many different people.

I realize that not everyone out there celebrates Christmas, but I do not know what I would do without it. Christmas has always been such a special time for me, and it isn't just about the presents. What I love about Christmas is the spirit...it just seems magical. Simply opening a door for someone might make their day. You never know what will make someones day. I have learned this through the many little moments that have made a number of my days special.

It is not that we never do anything nice for anyone else other times. It's just that in the Christmas season it is more recognizable, more tangible...

When many people think back on their Christmas memories, they remember the warmth surrounding them despite the freezing weather. This is what I wish everyone would be able to feel all year around...

To all who read this, I would like to wish you and yours a great Christmas and happy holidays. Most importantly, try to keep your focus on what is really important.