Moon Walking on a Treadmill

I hate running, but I run like I am training for the summer olympics 

All the while, my feet stay still

For it is only my mind that is running away

My "what ifs" consume most of my time 

I run from what could be by focusing on what I think should be, and oh - how it ruins me

I am running on a treadmill 

Everyone around me is moving 

Even my own feet go through the motions, but they never actually take me anywhere

Sometimes I think they will, but then all of the people around me start to blur

I realize then that they are moving;

I am the one who is staying still 

I feel like I must be the moon

The moon follows alongside your car at night, but the sad truth is that the moon never really goes anywhere 

It tricks everyone into thinking that it moves with them, but in all reality it is just lighting the way for everyone else

I am a light, but how can I stay bright when it is only a matter of time until I drown in the darkness again?

I am full.  I am half.  I am gone.

No one appreciates the endless light I have to give, but they always find fault with me when I am gone

I am surrounded by darkness all the time, but for  them even one night is just too much to bare

Maybe that is why I am given the responsibility of being the moon

At my weakest, I am strong

I continue to carry on, bringing my light with me wherever I go...even when no one appreciates it

Perhaps someday my perseverance will finally  take me somewhere

Until then, I will keep shining down, and light up as much of the world as I possibly can

Zig Zag

So many times, I wish I could tell my friends, "You deserve better."

Every so often, I wish I could tell myself,

"You

deserve

better.

 

 

You

 

deserve

 

better.

 

YOU

 

DESERVE

 

BETTER."

Photo found on Tumblr

 

 

Goodbye Summer, Goodbye Childhood.

I cannot believe summer will be ending in so soon.  I just want more time.  More time to hang out with my friends.  More time to think about the creative ideas that pop into my head.  More time to read.  More time before my childhood ends.  It will not be too long before everything changes, and where will that leave me?

 

Twas the End of the World Before Christmas

 

In my humble opinion, the world is NOT going to end on December 21, 2012.  I mean, how cruel would that be?  It is seventeen days until Christmas, and thirteen days until the world is supposedly going to end!!!  I will be very disappointed if the world ends four LOUSY, MEASLY, days before Christmas.  Don't get me wrong; I respect the opinions of anyone who does believe the world ends on December 21, 2012.  I just personally do not buy into the whole world ending fiasco, but I am no expert on it.  I genuinely hope the world does NOT end though.  There are so many things I want to do in life, and I have not had enough time in my short twenty years to do them all!  Besides, I've wasted a lot of money on Christmas gifts for the world to end before I get to give my loved ones any of their presents!  So, what do you all think?  Will the world end in 2012? 






E-card found on:  www.weheartit.com

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, she had friends.

Once upon a time, she was rarely at home.

Once upon a time, she was cream of the crop.

Once upon a time, she was queen.

Once upon a time, she was spirited.

Once upon a time, she was never left out.

Once upon a time, she wrote of how happy she was.

Once upon a time, she really was.

But that was Once Upon a Time.

Photos courtesy of:  www.weheartit.com

A Debt That Will Never be Paid

I have you in my hand, under my control

I left you out to dry - left you in the cold

Though I have good reasons, I wish you'd proved me wrong

At first you only fooled me - you've been this way all along

Maybe I taught you something, and for that I am not sad

I only wish I could forget, because I now consider you dead

I have all of these memories, and when I remember I can't help but be glad

I only wish it could have lasted - all those good times we had

I still see you now, and it's kind of bittersweet

Sweet because of the memories, bitter because you yanked them from under my feet

I have forgiven you, but that doesn't make me forget

It is still hard to look at you - to me, you will forever be in my debt

Photos Courtesy of:  www.weheartit.com

An Open Letter to Myspace

Dear Myspace,

Remember when we were such close friends?  We have shared so many good comments, but we were younger back then.  As we have grown older, we have distanced.  You have become more complicated, and I have become more simple.  We both have a different top eight now, and that is probably a good thing.  I do not need you like I used to - I am more independent now.  You will always have a place in my heart, because you gave me so much.  You were perfect when I needed you; I just don't need you anymore.  I will always cherish the times we shared, but I am overly ready to move on.  I will probably visit you every now and again, but I do not think things will ever be the same between us.  It's not you, and it's not me.  It is just time and change that is separating us.

Sincerely,

An Old Friend Request

Photo Courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

Letter to My Past Self

Dear Past Self,

You worry too much.  You always have, and maybe you always will.  You shouldn't have to, but it is just in your nature to worry.  You wouldn't really be the same person if you didn't. 

I just want you to know how good your life will be.  There will be times in your life that will test you to the max.  The choice you have to make is whether you will allow yourself to play the role of victim during these tough times, or whether you choose to rise above it all.  I'll be honest with you.  There will be times when you choose to be the victim, but that's okay.  It does not make you a bad person.  After all, you are only human. 

You expect so much out of yourself, and because of that you sometimes expect too much out of others.  As a result of this, you find yourself disappointed every once in awhile - sometimes even more often than every once in awhile.

I know you get lonely a lot.  You have never really had much good luck with relationships, if any.  People have continually taught you that you can trust no one, because they will just leave you in the end.  However, I want you to know:  all of that will soon change.  It may seem like you have to wait forever, but remember that little quote you love so much?  "Some things in life are worth waiting for...even if it means waiting forever."  Yeah, that quote.  You knew it was true before, but you will come to realize you believe it with every fiber of your being.  You will find the one you have been waiting for all of your life.  Well, you will discover him anyway.  By the time you realize he is the one - the soulmate you have been wanting to meet all of your life - he will have been in your life for quite some time.  Suddenly, you will see him in a new light, and a metamorphosis will occur right before your eyes! 

Don't get me wrong; there are people who will let you down in life that you never though would, but you must always be the bigger person. You are so strong.  You have been through so much already, and you can make it through this.  I know you can, because I am you, and you are me.  Together, we can do this.

Love,
Me



Quote images courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com

Old Journal Entry: November 24, 2009

For quite some time now, I have wanted to share with you one of my old journal entries.  However, I could never quite decide which one to share, or else it just seemed like the wrong time to post it.  Finally though, I am proud to inform you all that I have found the perfect one to share with the world!  Here it is, from one year ago today: 

If you can't read that, below is my translation:

November 24, 2009

Maybe I never really loved you.  Maybe I love you.  Maybe I never fully stopped loving you.  Maybe.

Love,

Molly

Isn't it weird how I am very poetic, even when I am just writing in my journal?  It is funny to think, and slightly hard to believe, that this is only from one year ago today.  So much has changed since then...

Trials and Tribulations, Victories and Celebrations!!!!!

Well, well, well.  Today has been a monumental day in my life.  I FINALLY GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE!!!!!  =D  I am 18, so really I should have had it by now, but due to an accident in driver's ed (not my fault), I lost my nerve for awhile.  I feel a sense of freedom now, like I am a little bit more independent.  Watch the roads...here comes Molly!!!  

Another monumental day in my life is August 16th:  my first day of college.  Weird, isn't it?  How time flies!  I am sad because I have so many friends left at my high school, but I am also thrilled to meet an array of new people.  It will be fun to experience such diversity all in one place!  I am happy to be starting this new life.  Look forward to hearing about my trials and tribulations, my victories and celebrations!  Stay tuned!   

On a different note, August 9th was the second month anniversary of when Ryan and I (my boyfriend) officially started dating.  :)  Love is a wonderful thing!

Ahhh...The Envies of Summer!

Ahhhhh.....summer.

If you are a student, like me, you probably breathed a sigh of relief after you finished that final exam.



If you are a parent, you may be dreading the fact that your kids will be home ALL summer.



If you are a teacher, a sense of freedom may have overcome you as you sat back and realized you won't have to deal with those whiny, nasty, dependent, kids all summer.



I think summer evokes different emotions in all of us. It is a time of freedom, but it can also be a time of boredom. I know that I, for one, start to miss my friends a great deal a few weeks into the summer. However, it is also a time envied by all of the other seasons. All of the other seasons just wish they could give off that popsicle licking, sprinkler running, watermelon eating, diving into the pool, overall good feeling of summer!

You may start to feel bored, and may only be thinking of those lazy days of sleeping ahead.
But you also can't deny it: summer brings out something wonderful and magical in us all!

Photo courtesy of: www.photobucket.com

Nice to Meetcha. (:

Hello there, everyone! Well, today is going to be a more personal post than you usually see! I am very happy to have gotten quite a few new followers in the past few days, and I would like to introduce myself to you. :) So...sit back, relax, and let's get to know each other a little bit better, shall we?
Yup, that girl right up there is me! It is a picture of me right before my graduation, on May 28th. I graduated high school! It has been an interesting four years, let me tell you. But enough of that.
I'm Molly! :) I am seventeen, going on eighteen. One thing you really need to know: THEATRE IS MY LIFE!!!!! I love acting - it is my passion, and I am totally in love with it! However, I also enjoy writing and psychology. I love to act, read, sing, dance, bowl, listen to music, and tons of other stuff! I love God!!! I spend way too much time on the computer, but hey, that's just me. I am a pretty shy person, honestly. It might take me awhile to warm up, but once I do I can be pretty hilarious, not gonna lie! I am also pretty deep though, which not everyone realizes. I have a serious side. I am very accepting and open-minded, or at least, that's what I like to think of myself. :)
Right now, it is summer (duh). The past few days I have pretty much just been enjoying that fact. I usually don't enjoy being bored, but it has been kind of nice not to have a planned schedule and routine. I am bowling though, on a summer league with a few friends, which is a blast! I have bowled on a league since the fourth grade, but I have only bowled on summer league since last summer. I am hoping to maybe get a job this summer too, so wish me luck! Really, I just wanted to write this blog so I could introduce myself to my new readers, and allow my old readers to know a little bit more about me! :D I hope you all have enjoyed reading it. And I would ALWAYS love to know more about you, so feel free to share. Leave me comments, and express your thoughts on anything and everything! There is one thing I would like to ask you to do before you before you go though...PLEASE VOTE IN THE POLL CURRENTLY ON MY PAGE! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF ON MY BLOG! I would really appreciate it! :) If you ever would like me to write about something that you do not see I have blogged about already, PLEASE leave a comment! I would LOVE to hear from you, in any way, shape or form! With that said, I hope you all have a great day, and a wonderful summer!!!
Love,
Molly (:

So Much to Gain.

A very close friend of mine led a Bible study tonight. I felt very overwhelmed by the love of God while he was speaking. In fact, I actually cried. Yes, that's right. Now, unless you know me very well, you probably don't know this, but I am actually not much of a crier. Sure, I cry every once in awhile, but usually more when I am mad than any other time.

However, for some reason tonight I felt moved. My friend was so into what he was saying. You could tell that he felt everything that he said with his whole heart. I know I am not always the best person that I could be. None of us are. If we do not have anyone else to go to though, we always have God. God is the only real constant. Period. No questions asked.

If you do not believe in God, I respect your opinion, and I will not bash it. I am not the kind of person who thinks I am better than anyone else because I believe in God. Those kinds of Christians are the ones who give the people who do believe a bad name.

No, I believe I am of the same equality as everyone else. I am just aware of Jesus Christ's free gift to me. When He died on the cross, he did it for ALL of us. He gave us all a chance, like the free space on a Bingo board. It is our choice whether to take it or leave it. All I ask of you after reading this, is to just please think about what I said. Give God a chance. There is nothing to lose, but there is so much to gain!

My Time to Decide.

I found the image to the left today, and I realized it kind of describes how I feel right now.

I remember walking in on the first day of high school. I felt as if I were a firefly finally being released from my secure, little jar of safety. While most of those around me were terrified, I was pretty darn excited! I was in a new town, and there were new people all around me. It may sound cliche, but I thought I could be whoever I wanted to be!

A few days into the beginning of my high school journey, I realized that it was not all it was cracked up to be. I turned from an eager new freshman into someone who wished she was invisible. I remember myself one day trying to count down the approximate days until graduation. Being a freshman (and especially one who sucked at math!) that was out of the question, and obviously did not work. I wished more than anything though that I could be a senior, and just finish that freshman chapter of my life.

I made it through freshman year, and sophomore year was much better due to a change in circumstances. All of my high school years have been much better, in fact. I have had to go through hardships just like everyone else, but I have also gotten used to high school. It is ordinary and familiar. It is the norm for me now, but soon everything will change...

I will suddenly be released from my second secure, little jar, and have to fly out into an unknown world. I will definitely not fly on my own, but I will have to be more in charge of what I do. I won't have all the second chances I did in high school.

Now it is my time to decide:
whether I choose to fall, or to light up the world and fly...

*Image used above courtesy of: http://www.tinypic.com/

Sincerely, Chipmunk Cheeks

Hey everyone! I know I have not had a lot of time to post lately (I have even missed a couple Ten Things Tuesdays!) Sooo...I decided to take some time now to give you a little update on my life.

I am home from school today because I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. The picture you see to the left is a picture of me yesterday that was taken right after the surgery (hahaha!) I know I quite resemble a chipmunk, but hopefully the swelling will go down in a couple of days. I actually had five wisdom teeth, and normal people only have four. I guess that just goes to show you that I actually DO have a reason to be so...erm...weird. My mother was relieved. I just wish the extra wisdom tooth would have helped a little with my actual WISDOM!

Well, besides all of that excitement, I am now in the midst of rehearsals for the current musical I am in, Cabaret. I am a member in the girl band/orchestra. No, it is not the actual "orchestra" that plays the music for the show. (Thank you God!!!) I know that is confusing - I freaked out when I first found out because I thought I had to play the trumpet. I was really worried because:

1) I don't know how to play the trumpet. (Yeah, that would've been a problem...)
2) I don't even know how to read music!

Luckily, I just pretend to play the trumpet. I also am going to be an extra party guest. As far as I know, I won't have any lines, but I am still having a good time being in the show. Hey! I get to dance! Besides that, I love being in a show. Period. I have practice most nights, even with a fairly small part, and I have set constructions most Sundays which I LOVE. What can I say? I'm a dork.

I also have auditions for my school play coming up soon, and we are going to do The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie. I am really looking forward to it, especially since it is my senior year.

So, I don't really know what else to say besides that! I am pretty chubby cheeked at the moment, and can only eat soft foods, but such is life! I guess I will post something creative when I can find the time and inspiration. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this! Have a superbly wonderful day! :)

Sincerely,

Chipmunk Cheeks

My Thoughts & Musings From 2009.

I figured that since we are about to embark on a new year, I would write about some of my thoughts and musings from 2009.
Like any year, 2009 was a year of change. However, I think some of the changes that took place in 2009 were bigger than many of the changes I have had in most of my previous years. 2009 was a roller coaster ride with a lot of ups, downs, and definitely loops. I learned some important lessons in 2009 that turned me into the person I am today. I believe that these lessons will come in handy later in life. Life threw a lot of obstacles my way, but I fought back, kicking and screaming.

One of the major lessons I learned this year was that people are not always what they appear to be. I know that is an age old saying, and that people usually don't give it a second thought. This year though, I learned that it is an absolute TRUTH. It is not something to just roll your eyes at. You may think you know someone, but you might not. Especially when you first meet someone, it is easy to get caught up and jump into something, whether it be a friendship or a relationship. However, I have learned that you should not jump blindly; you should always keep one eye open. There may be no flashing lights or "danger ahead" signs to warn you that something is wrong, so it is hard to know when something is not quite right. That is why you need to be very careful.

Another lesson I learned this year was taught to me by an unlikely teacher. "Some things in life are worth waiting for...even if it means waiting forever." I have learned that I am worth waiting for. I am confident that if somebody really loves me, they will be willing to wait for me. This year, my values have been tested more than they ever have been before. I had to decide which direction I wanted to go, and it was an extremely hard decision to make. However, I have learned that if you are with someone, you should not have to change your values, and they should not have to change. They may choose to change, but they shouldn't have to. It may not be easy, but if it is meant to be, it WILL be worth it. Like the song "Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield says: "Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for." I definitely believe this. Now, I wish I could say that I'd fallen in love in 2009, and [insert name here] is EVERYTHING to me, but it hasn't happened yet. Of course, I am willing to wait, because when love does blossom it will be worth it. People tell me it will happen when I least expect it. While this answer does not exactly satisfy me, I tend to agree that love will happen.

As I mentioned earlier, this year has been a year of major change. I have realized that close friends drift away, and this year has been no different. Some of my close friends have drifted away, whether it was totally, or just partially. However, when I was at a couple of my lowest points, it seemed like the most random person would start talking to me. I appreciate these people so much. They might never know who they are, but I am very glad that they intervened when they did. They were in the right place at the right time, and I am very grateful for that.

This year, I really have matured a lot. There have been times this year when I would do something that I never would have done in the past, and I would realize that I actually have a backbone. I have made new friends, and grown closer to old. I am not going to lie. There have been times when I acted happy even though I wasn't. There were also times when I bottled up my emotions at school, and then blew up at my mom once I got home. Sometimes, it just happens. While some people think that I am always happy, nobody ever lives up fully to that expectation.

I am going through a major transitional period right now. I have gotten a taste of the college life this year, and sometimes it is hard to wake up and realize that I am still in high school. I won't be for long, but that really does not change much right now.

Sometimes people think I am so naive, but I am NOT stupid. I have expanded my open-mindedness this year, and while I have never been a very judgemental person, I have become even less judgemental. After all, isn't there a saying about being nice to everyone, because you never know what internal battles they may be facing? I agree with that fully. I try my best to be nice to everyone, because I know what it feels like to be the outsider.

Overall, 2009 was not a bad year. It was rocky, but it had its perks too. However, I still wish for an even BETTER 2010. Remember: 2009 may have been divine, but 2010 is the year to start over again! So with that, I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! May God bless you in all that you do!

Love always,
Molly :)

Merry Christmas!!!

Well, well, well! It's Christmas Eve already. Time flies so fast! First, I want to let you all know that it's possible that I won't post as much over the holidays, but hey, ya never know! I know that I already missed this week's Ten Things Tuesday, so sorry about that.

I will be celebrating Christmas Eve tonight with my family, and tomorrow for Christmas I will be celebrating with my family too! I think I have finally finished the last of my Christmas shopping, and that is always a good thing! I hope all of you have a good holiday (whatever you may be celebrating!) Just remember, Jesus is the reason for the season! Hallelujah, Jesus Christ was born!

The Problem With Labels.

I found the picture above, and it really struck me as interesting. If you haven't already, read it carefully. A GENUINELY FAKE watch?! Well, I'll put that one on my Christmas list for sure!

Chances are, if that sign did not say that the watches were actually fake, people who were not that educated about watches might buy a watch, thinking that it is genuine. People might be confused when they first see this sign, but hopefully they will figure out what it means after a minute or two. THE WATCHES ARE FAKE! *Gasp!!!!!* It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

Think about it. What if everyone had a sign hanging on their chest that revealed a secret about them? Sure, your mama might have told you not to judge a book by it's cover, but honestly, haven't we all at some point?

Like the Bible in Matthew 7:3 says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" That is a really good question. We get upset at people for judging as, but we continue to judge other people. Of course, it's natural. We are only human, though we should always try to show less judgment for those around us. That doesn't mean we should totally ignore people's flaws, but we should forgive them.

Yes, a good number of cheaters will still cheat, liars will still lie, and abusers will still abuse. However, the ones who actually do change will most likely still be cast out of society. They will still have that label for doing whatever it is that they did in the past. It is true; we deserve to know what they did for our own safety. The one thing that we need to remember though, is that we are all human. We all have made mistakes. We all have wronged someone. We all have had to put up with the consequences of our actions in one way or another, and we ALL have the ability to change. So despite our differences, we all have that one little thing in common, if nothing else.

We aren't really all that different than the watches really. Humans are constantly trying to overcome the negative labels that society has cast upon us. Maybe it is time to stop labeling so much, and start listening.

Going Away From the Flow.

Suddenly it hits her like a bucket of freezing water after just waking up in the morning. Everything that has been clogging up her brain finally releases itself from her head. The problem is that she doesn't know who she is anymore. Used to, these things seemed to be so easy to figure out for her. Now, she questions herself constantly. Am I happy or depressed? Am I really lonely, or is it just my mind playing tricks on me? Am I trapped, or do I not want to be free?
She thinks maybe that this is just something everyone goes through, but she really doesn't know. She is tired of feeling numb, and full of emotions at the same time. However, it is hard when she never knows whether to show her emotions to other people, or to hide them. Who can she trust anymore? Honestly? The world keeps showing her over and over again that she can only trust herself, but yet she seems to trust others so easily! Sometimes, she doesn't know whether it's a blessing or a curse!
She is tired of just going with the flow and just waiting for something to happen, but what other choice does she have?! She wants to cannon ball into the water (freezing or not), but she doesn't even know how to jump! And if she did know how to jump, who would be there to catch her anyway? She is so unsure anymore. She wants to separate herself from the flow. She wants to flee from it with the burning passion resonating in her heart...
But how?

Your Time is Only YOUR Choice.

"For in a minute there are many days," is a quote from the beloved Shakespeare play, Romeo and Juliet. I saw that quote once somewhere, and it really made me think. At the time I saw it, I think a lot of things were happening in my life really fast, all at once, and that is why it struck me as ironic. Today, I thought of that quote again, and the point of it struck me once more. It made me think about how truthful that quote was.
Think about a minute. Think about HOW MUCH can happen in a mere sixty seconds. A baby can be brought into this world, while another person breathes their last breath. A family can be brought together, or a family can be torn apart. A person can have perfectly good intentions one second, but because of a momentary lapse of judgement - a stupid mistake - their life can be changed forever.
SO much can happen in one minute. Also, if something can happen in one minute, then what can happen in one month?! So much can happen in one, teeny-tiny, thirty-one day month! The cycle just goes on and on. The moments turn to days, the days turn to weeks, the weeks turn to months, the months to years, and so on. It goes on every day; it just keeps going on whether you are loving life, or your world is crashing down upon you. That thought can either be eerie or comforting. It could be eerie because of the fact that you can't stop it, but it can also be very comforting. No matter what you do, time will just keep rolling along. I prefer to look at it is comforting, because what is the point of worrying about something that only God can stop anyway?
Remember that time is inevitable. However, what you do to make use of that time is your choice, and your choice only.