Alone and Bittersweet

It's really funny how things change as you grow older.  My best friends from high school promised me that we would always be friends.  We are not.  In fact, I only have one friend from high school that I see on a regular basis, and that is my best friend, Shannon.  Then I got to college and I met SO many people who were like me.  Most of them have graduated or done something else with their lives, and I am still here.  I have barely stayed in touch with any of them, except for the occasional social media comment.  The thing was, they used to be so much like me, but I have changed so drastically in the past few years.  I am a totally different person than I was when I started college.  I still love theatre, but it is not the focal point of my life like it used to be, at least not for right now.  I am an Early Childhood Education major.  Children are my life now, and I may never pursue a career in professional theatre, as difficult as that is for me to admit.  When I was eighteen and starting college, I thought I would be long gone at this point.  Now that I am twenty-one though, I see myself staying in the exact same place, at least for another year or two.  I have big dreams, and I always will; that will never change.  It just seems that as I have matured my old dreams have become new dreams, and my life has not turned out the way I expected it to.  I am both happy and sad about this.  I am at the point that I do not have much growing up left to do until I am grown up.  It's bittersweet really.  I leave you with a quote that used to be one of my favorites a long time ago back in the era of Myspace and high school:  "Be happy for this moment.  This moment is your life." -Omar Khayyam

The Fairytale That Has Become of 2010.

I have trouble trying to find good enough words to describe 2010. It has been truly ASTOUNDING!  Last year, I worried I was going to be infinitely single - that I was never going to find anyone who completed me. In my journal on January 1, 2010, I wrote:

“I know I started out 2009 the same way, and I sometimes hate to admit it, but I am SO TIRED of  being single!  I don’t know why I am so doomed to be single!  Maybe 2010 will be different.  Maybe I’ll find someone who loves me, and respects me, and appreciates me.  This is what I hope.”

...And so I did. :)  I went out and found myself the man of my dreams, and I really only had to look right in front of me. In 2010, I accomplished the one thing I wanted most.  I cannot believe I found a guy who fit my description of what I looked for in a guy so perfectly. I used to be so bitter about love.  I hated to look at happy couples because I was terrified that I would end up as the lady with fifty cats.  However, I did not, and I am extremely grateful for that.

As for everything else in 2010...wow. I mean, I had a great senior year of high school. I believe everyone who says that senior year is the best year, because it really is. With the way my freshman year of high school started out, I had no clue that my senior year of high school would be SO much better, to the extent that it was almost unbelievable. Totally unexpectedly, I was elected prom queen. I was humbled, unbelievably, by that whole experience. I won the award for having the most school spirit. I graduated and ended the long, but essential, journey we call “high school”. I was amazed when I was offered a theatre tuition waiver to college, along with a theatre scholarship. I cannot believe I was once the freshman girl who would stare down at the floor and who liked to make believe she did not exist.

With that said, I also started a new journey. I am now a freshman in college. I fully planned on majoring in theatre at the beginning of the year. Now, honestly, I am not so sure what I want to do with my life. I never knew it would be such a hard decision.  Other things have simply become more important to me than the theatre. Ryan, for example. I am not saying theatre is not at all important to me; it has been a huge part of my life for quite a few years now. I am just not sure how far along theatre and I will travel together, hand in hand.

I have definitely become a different person this year. As for lessons, I have learned many.  There have been people who have disappointed me this year, but of course, that is to be expected. I saw the flaws in someone that I basically considered to be perfect.  No one is perfect. Life teaches me that over and over again, every year. However, I also made many great friends this year. I never knew just how many great people I would meet in college.  I was amazed at how some of the people I met were, and are, so similar to me.  I have a wonderful life, and I am beginning to realize that more and more every day. This year (especially compared to last year) has been so incredibly easy. It has been a piece of cake. I have kept my emotions more in check and I have matured by leaps and bounds.

More people have pleased me than disappointed me.  One great loss I suffered this year was the death of my Papaw. It was totally unexpected and hard for me to cope with at times (even though I hardly ever showed it). I did not know how much I would miss him until he was gone. While that was a major downer, I still cannot forget all of the great memories from this year.

By far, the best thing that came about this year was my relationship with Ryan.  I think it shocked almost everyone who knew us when we suddenly got together. We had been talking for awhile, but not many people knew that our late night facebook conversations would soon become a full blown romantic relationship. Heck, not many people even knew we were having late night facebook conversations. However, I am glad that we did.  I know most people around my age say their relationship will last, and in a lot of cases it doesn’t, but Ryan and I are different.  I just know it will work out between us. I fully see us in fifty years, sitting on our couch together. I love him, and I am truly glad I have had to go through so many hardships to finally find him because now it is so good. I am glad that I waited to be with Ryan because some things are just worth waiting for. ;)

All in all, 2010 has been a blast. I look forward to creating a bunch of fun, new, memories in 2011 with Ryan and all of my friends. I cannot wait to see what this coming year has in store for me!!!!!

Life Lesson #3: A Warning for College Kids

Life Lesson #3:  There is just as much (or more) drama in college as there is in high school.

Sorry kiddos.  I hate to break it to you, but it's the truth - at least in my case.  Personally, I involve myself in the drama as little as possible, but that doesn't mean I don't see it all around me.  Maybe it's just because I am a theatre major, but I kind of doubt it.  ;)  (Pun intended!) 

Drama exists everywhere, no matter what you choose to do with your life.  Drama is like the ever existent girl (or maybe even guy) in high school who constantly had to one up you in everything.  I mean EVERYTHING!  Listen to the wise words of the song Girl Next Door by Saving Jane if you haven't already, because that is exactly the kind of thing I am talking about.

The one plus about drama in college compared to drama in high school, is that drama in college is usually easier to steer clear of.  Of course, you have to actually want to - unlike some people who say they want to, but really are the cause of all the drama in the first place!  Don't get me wrong.  College started off WAY better for me than high school did.  I am just warning you that if you think your life is suddenly going to be drama free the moment you turn eighteen, you may want to consider taking a dose of reality. 

Images courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

For the Love of Theatre!

"There's no people like show people

They smile when they are low

Even with a turkey that you know will fold

You may be stranded out in the cold

Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold

Let's go on with the show"     -Irving Berlin

 

Acting:  my anti-drug.

Sometimes, it's the only thing that keeps me going...

Image courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

Oxymoron.

Without the theatre, I would die.
My whole life would be a lie
...or is it already?
I pretend to be people I'm not;
I act evil and mean, or old and distraught.
I act whatever I ought, because that is who I am
...or am I not?
I am just an oxymoron.

Auditioning!

Tomorrow evening is my first college audition!  Well, actually it's not, but it's my first college audition in which I am an actual full time student.  I am thrilled!  The play is "The Three Musketeers".  It should be very fun - I've already met plenty of great theatre friends who are also going to be auditioning for the fall play. 

Most people hate auditions.  I tend to LOVE them!  Why you ask?  I don't really know what in particular tickles my fancy about them.  Why do you dislike them?

I guess I like that every time you audition, it's like a fresh start.  No matter how many previous performances you have taken part in, you always have a fresh start at auditions.  Whether it is your first play, or your thousandth play, everyone auditioning is basically on the same page.

I think pretty much everyone knows I love theatre and acting, and now you know I love auditioning!  =)  I am already on a high thinking about tomorrow.  So...wish me luck!  :D

Photo courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com

25 Things About ME!!!!!

Hey guys!  So I just realized I was tagged by Ms. Jessi Haish, of The Musings of a Wannabe Star to participate in the "25 Things" game.  I do not know how many of you have taken part of it before, but it is an extremely fun game in which you write a list of 25 things about yourself.  These things can pretty much consist of anything!  Here are the rules: 
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a post with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.


Soooo...here I go!!!  25 things about myself!

1.  Theatre is pretty much my life!  My dream is to be an actress, and I would love to move to New York someday!
 
2.  I love the color black.  No...I am not goth.  I just think it is a nice, expressive color.
 
3.  I own over ten pairs of Converse.  I also own a lot of flip flops.  I guess you could say I am a shoe person.  :P 
 
4.  I over analyze almost everything.  I have a serious problem with thinking too much, even when I shouldn't.  Then other times, when I need to think, (*cough* school) I don't think enough.
 
5.  I have an insanely hilarious sense of humor.  I can make a joke out of almost anything.  Some people have told me I should be a comedian. 
 
6.  I love psychology.  It was one of my absolute favorite subjects that I took in high school.  I hope to do something with psychology in my life.  I am very interested in people, and why they are the way they are.
 
7.  You take me to a bookstore, and I can spend hours killing time there.  I love to read, and I love to go to bookstores.  There is just something special about holding a new book in your hand that you know is yours. 
 
8.  I love the books "Please Stop Laughing At Me..." and "Please Stop Laughing At Us..." by Jodee Blanco.  She is one of my heroes, and you should really check out her two books that I mentioned.  The first one, especially, changed my life.
 
9.  I really love to write.  It helps me sort through the things I am going through.  My journal is a great friend, and it doesn't judge me even when everyone else seems to.
 
10.  I am really into quotes and lyrics that mean something to me.
 
11.  Speaking of lyrics, I love music.  I especially love when music has good lyrics.  I have an array of music on my iPod.  I have everything from country to alternative, rock to pop, and even the music out of some musicals.  I like to think that you can tell a lot about a person based on their music taste, but I have not proven that theory yet.
 
12.  I love going to the movies with friends, even if I don't particularly like the movie, because I enjoy eating movie popcorn.  I guess I also enjoy just having something to do, because I HATE, HATE, HATE, being bored!!!
 
13.  I am a major advocate for stopping bullying.  See #8 above.
 
14.  I have bowled on a bowling league since I was in the 4th grade.  I probably could be a lot better, but it's fun anyway...
 
15.  When I was little, I once wanted a Santa cake for my birthday, even though it's in July.  I got it though!  :)
 
16.  I frequently have strange dreams, and I often remember my dreams.  I hope that means I am really creative!
 
17.  I love "The Secret Life of the American Teenager."  It is about my favorite show.
 
18.  I like to play soccer just for fun, even though I've never played on a team or anything.  I might not know all the rules, but I DO know it's fun very fun!  :)
 
19.  Although I am funny, I am also very deep.  I have some thoughts that are as deep as the sea.  I like to think that I have an "old soul." 
 
20.  When I was younger, I was terrified of angels appearing to me in the shower.  Yeah, I was a strange kid...
I guess not much has changed.
 
21.  I love pizza.  I especially love pepperoni pizza and cheddar cheese pizza.  Stuffed crust is just an added bonus!
 
22.  I don't think I text  as much as the average teenager.
 
23.  I am one of those few people in the world who doesn't mind being in pictures.  I've never been one of those, "AHHHH!  DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE!!!!!" people.
 
24.  I think I have a kind of obsession with social networking sites.  First, it was myspace.  Now, it's facebook.  I just can't get away from them!
 
25.  I really try to be a nice person, and I hate when people don't like me.
 
So...there you have it folks.  I chose to tag:
 
1.  Alexxander of Letters From the Wasteland
2.  Hannah of Hello life, glad you're here
3.  Kevin of Something Like That
4.  Himani of The hidden shadow
5.  David of The Rest Is Still Unwritten

6.  Lily of Unconditional Honesty

7.  Jitsy of Mind Starts Speaking

8.  f8hasit of f8hasit

9.  Call Me Cate of Show My Face

10.  Jenn of PURSUING HAPPINESS

Nice to Meetcha. (:

Hello there, everyone! Well, today is going to be a more personal post than you usually see! I am very happy to have gotten quite a few new followers in the past few days, and I would like to introduce myself to you. :) So...sit back, relax, and let's get to know each other a little bit better, shall we?
Yup, that girl right up there is me! It is a picture of me right before my graduation, on May 28th. I graduated high school! It has been an interesting four years, let me tell you. But enough of that.
I'm Molly! :) I am seventeen, going on eighteen. One thing you really need to know: THEATRE IS MY LIFE!!!!! I love acting - it is my passion, and I am totally in love with it! However, I also enjoy writing and psychology. I love to act, read, sing, dance, bowl, listen to music, and tons of other stuff! I love God!!! I spend way too much time on the computer, but hey, that's just me. I am a pretty shy person, honestly. It might take me awhile to warm up, but once I do I can be pretty hilarious, not gonna lie! I am also pretty deep though, which not everyone realizes. I have a serious side. I am very accepting and open-minded, or at least, that's what I like to think of myself. :)
Right now, it is summer (duh). The past few days I have pretty much just been enjoying that fact. I usually don't enjoy being bored, but it has been kind of nice not to have a planned schedule and routine. I am bowling though, on a summer league with a few friends, which is a blast! I have bowled on a league since the fourth grade, but I have only bowled on summer league since last summer. I am hoping to maybe get a job this summer too, so wish me luck! Really, I just wanted to write this blog so I could introduce myself to my new readers, and allow my old readers to know a little bit more about me! :D I hope you all have enjoyed reading it. And I would ALWAYS love to know more about you, so feel free to share. Leave me comments, and express your thoughts on anything and everything! There is one thing I would like to ask you to do before you before you go though...PLEASE VOTE IN THE POLL CURRENTLY ON MY PAGE! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF ON MY BLOG! I would really appreciate it! :) If you ever would like me to write about something that you do not see I have blogged about already, PLEASE leave a comment! I would LOVE to hear from you, in any way, shape or form! With that said, I hope you all have a great day, and a wonderful summer!!!
Love,
Molly (:

But Most of All...I Just Believe.

What do I believe in?
Well...
I do believe in God, whether you believe me or not.
Obviously I believe in hope and fate. I believe that bad experiences happen for a reason, and that they always have the potential to make you stronger.
I believe in true love, and that one day I will find it.
I believe in theatre not theater. :)
I believe that if people should be passionate about what they love, because that is an intriguing quality.
I believe that just because someone has left your life for now, does not necessarily mean that they will be gone forever. It's all up to destiny.
I honestly believe that everyone has some good in them, and that everyone has some good to contribute to the world.
I believe that God has a sense of humor - just trust me on that.
I believe in respecting your values, but also having the ability to be open-minded.
I believe in expression.
Individuality.
Creativity.
Faith.
Love.
But most of all...I just believe.

Who Could Ask For More?

She walked out of the club that she and her band had been performing at that night. The air was cold and damp, and cigarettes lined the crevices in the sidewalk. The fringe on her dress flapped with every step she took, and she could feel the night air growing colder and windier by the minute. Her feet were sore, and she was exhausted. The power was off at her small apartment again, because she and her roommate had not made enough money in the last month to keep it on. Her salary was below minimum wage, and some days she went without eating a single thing. Yet somehow, she still loved her job. She loved the spotlights, the audience, and the musty smell of the old theatres and clubs. She came to the conclusion that she would not trade any of it in for anything. With that, she walked into her dark apartment with a satisfied sigh, and realized that she, herself, might be the happiest woman in the world. And who could ask for anything more?

Update: My Life.

I am sorry I haven't had much time to post lately. I have really been busy with rehearsals for the play I am in, "Oliver Twist." So, instead of doing a creative post this time, I am just going to give you a little update on my life. I am Old Sally in the play "Oliver Twist." Old Sally is an old, haggish type of woman. Mind you, she dies in the first act, first scene...but hey! I come back tonight as a towns person. I just love all of the people who are in the play with. I love it there because almost everybody who does the plays at RLC actually WANTS to be there because they like the theatre. That isn't always the case in grade school or even high school. Some people are pushed into it. I have rehearsal tonight, like normal. It should be fun. I'm hoping to get some good pictures tonight.
I also have been really busy with school lately. I have had a lot of homework and such. It has just been super busy for me lately. Today we had 18 kids out at our school the last time I heard, and we only have 74 students! It seemed so weird - there were so few people! I think Swine Flu finally made it to our school - I hope I don't get it. I don't think I'd die or anything, but with my play coming up I don't want to be sick! Luckily I get tomorrow off, and I am hoping this weekend will be a good one.
Anyway, that's about all I have to tell! I just wanted to write something, and I decided to do something a little different than normal! I know I have missed the last couple Ten Things Tuesday's - sorry about that. Hopefully I will get back to writing more here in a couple of weeks when things slow down. Well, that's all for now, but I hope you all have a wonderful weekend/week!
-Molly

Sorry About the Lack of Updating.

Hello everyone. I am sorry about Ten Things Tuesday this week; I totally, completely forgot about it! Summer has been so busy, and sometimes it seems like it's easier to keep my blog updated during the school year. I guess it might be easier then because I have more of a schedule. Well, I shouldn't be writing a lot this week...I am going to theatre camp!
Hopefully, however, once school starts again I will be writing more! I have another blog in mind that I want to write though, so maybe I will get that written sometime in the near future! :)
Anyway, I am very busy, as I said, but I hope you all are having a wonderful summer! I know I am; it has been extremely busy though!
Well, until next time!
-Molly