I'm worse than a sad and angsty teenage girl...

 

Last night, one of our usual customers came into the store I have worked at for over two years and referred to me as a "keeper".  I immediately thought of one of my favorite poems, and began to wonder what exactly she meant when she called me that.  If I am such a "keeper", then why does no one want to keep me?  Perhaps, I am a "keeper", because I am the one who holds onto things for far too long.

 

And that in itself is so very sad.

To Be So Young, To Be So Old.

In less than 12 full days I will legally be allowed to consume alcoholic beverages, and this fact alone depresses the hell out of me.  I wish I knew why.  Lately, all I can think of is everything that has ever happened to me thus far in life.  I was sixteen, and everything was so what?  Full of opportunity?  I don't know if that is the right way to put it, but it's the only way I can think of right now.  I feel like I should have made so many decisions by now that I haven't made.  Kissed so many people that I haven't kissed.  I have so many stretch marks that I shouldn't have.  It is a weird feeling being so old, yet having all of your elders claim you are so young.  It all makes me wonder:  am I who I was?  How long will it take for me to get to who I will be?  How much longer can I last in this in between state of not being a teenager, but not being an adult either? 

A Reality Show Junkie's Opinion on "Teen Mom"



Original "Teen Mom" cast

Want to know one thing you probably don't know about me?  I am a self proclaimed reality show junkie.  From "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" to "Big Brother", I love them all.  (Okay, I'm lying.  I do not watch them all, but you're picking up what I'm throwing down, right?  Good!)  One of my favorite reality shows, however, would have to be "Teen Mom".  By this I am including both "Teen Mom" and "Teen Mom 2". 

My personal opinion is that this show and the girls involved face a lot of undeserved criticism.  Many people believe that this show ENCOURAGES teenage girls to get pregnant, which I think is absolutely false.  Most of the people who make this claim have probably not watched one episode of the show.  While I would not recommend it for little girls, I definitely would recommend it for appropriate aged teenage girls.

Together, "Teen Mom" and "Teen Mom 2" follow a total of eight girls throughout their everyday lives as teen moms.  It shows their struggles and strives, and the discrimination they face, but the show also celebrates their victories.  It shows the different outcomes of being a teenage mom - from adoption, to a ton of family support, to very little family support.  I think it is both an educational/informative show, and a persuasive show.  It educates girls, but it also persuades them to be safe and smart while making decisions that could potentially affect the outcomes of there futures.

What do you think about "Teen Mom"? 

"Teen Mom 2" cast

Photos courtesy of:  www.weheartit.com

Life Lesson #4: Adults Don't Know it All

Life Lesson #4:  Authority figures you once thought were perfect, always have the potential to let you down.

You know how when you were a little kid, you thought everyone older than you was so cool?  You thought your parents were perfect, your teacher was the smartest person in the world, and the older kids always had fun.  Then you hit the teenage years.  Your parents embarrass you, you think your teacher is an idiot, but you still strive to be older and older.  You still look up to the adults, whether you will admit it or not.  Well, you know what?  Sometimes you should, sometimes you shouldn't.  Despite what adults tell you, they do not always have all the answers.  I would know, since I am legally an adult.  We don't know it all.  Even people much older than me don't know everything.  We all make mistakes, and there is always room for improvement in everyone.  If you are a kid, you should still take into account what adults have to say, but after awhile, you need to start forming some of your own opinions.  If you are an adult, don't get too self-confident.  You do not know everything like you think you do.

Image courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com

25 Things About ME!!!!!

Hey guys!  So I just realized I was tagged by Ms. Jessi Haish, of The Musings of a Wannabe Star to participate in the "25 Things" game.  I do not know how many of you have taken part of it before, but it is an extremely fun game in which you write a list of 25 things about yourself.  These things can pretty much consist of anything!  Here are the rules: 
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a post with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.


Soooo...here I go!!!  25 things about myself!

1.  Theatre is pretty much my life!  My dream is to be an actress, and I would love to move to New York someday!
 
2.  I love the color black.  No...I am not goth.  I just think it is a nice, expressive color.
 
3.  I own over ten pairs of Converse.  I also own a lot of flip flops.  I guess you could say I am a shoe person.  :P 
 
4.  I over analyze almost everything.  I have a serious problem with thinking too much, even when I shouldn't.  Then other times, when I need to think, (*cough* school) I don't think enough.
 
5.  I have an insanely hilarious sense of humor.  I can make a joke out of almost anything.  Some people have told me I should be a comedian. 
 
6.  I love psychology.  It was one of my absolute favorite subjects that I took in high school.  I hope to do something with psychology in my life.  I am very interested in people, and why they are the way they are.
 
7.  You take me to a bookstore, and I can spend hours killing time there.  I love to read, and I love to go to bookstores.  There is just something special about holding a new book in your hand that you know is yours. 
 
8.  I love the books "Please Stop Laughing At Me..." and "Please Stop Laughing At Us..." by Jodee Blanco.  She is one of my heroes, and you should really check out her two books that I mentioned.  The first one, especially, changed my life.
 
9.  I really love to write.  It helps me sort through the things I am going through.  My journal is a great friend, and it doesn't judge me even when everyone else seems to.
 
10.  I am really into quotes and lyrics that mean something to me.
 
11.  Speaking of lyrics, I love music.  I especially love when music has good lyrics.  I have an array of music on my iPod.  I have everything from country to alternative, rock to pop, and even the music out of some musicals.  I like to think that you can tell a lot about a person based on their music taste, but I have not proven that theory yet.
 
12.  I love going to the movies with friends, even if I don't particularly like the movie, because I enjoy eating movie popcorn.  I guess I also enjoy just having something to do, because I HATE, HATE, HATE, being bored!!!
 
13.  I am a major advocate for stopping bullying.  See #8 above.
 
14.  I have bowled on a bowling league since I was in the 4th grade.  I probably could be a lot better, but it's fun anyway...
 
15.  When I was little, I once wanted a Santa cake for my birthday, even though it's in July.  I got it though!  :)
 
16.  I frequently have strange dreams, and I often remember my dreams.  I hope that means I am really creative!
 
17.  I love "The Secret Life of the American Teenager."  It is about my favorite show.
 
18.  I like to play soccer just for fun, even though I've never played on a team or anything.  I might not know all the rules, but I DO know it's fun very fun!  :)
 
19.  Although I am funny, I am also very deep.  I have some thoughts that are as deep as the sea.  I like to think that I have an "old soul." 
 
20.  When I was younger, I was terrified of angels appearing to me in the shower.  Yeah, I was a strange kid...
I guess not much has changed.
 
21.  I love pizza.  I especially love pepperoni pizza and cheddar cheese pizza.  Stuffed crust is just an added bonus!
 
22.  I don't think I text  as much as the average teenager.
 
23.  I am one of those few people in the world who doesn't mind being in pictures.  I've never been one of those, "AHHHH!  DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE!!!!!" people.
 
24.  I think I have a kind of obsession with social networking sites.  First, it was myspace.  Now, it's facebook.  I just can't get away from them!
 
25.  I really try to be a nice person, and I hate when people don't like me.
 
So...there you have it folks.  I chose to tag:
 
1.  Alexxander of Letters From the Wasteland
2.  Hannah of Hello life, glad you're here
3.  Kevin of Something Like That
4.  Himani of The hidden shadow
5.  David of The Rest Is Still Unwritten

6.  Lily of Unconditional Honesty

7.  Jitsy of Mind Starts Speaking

8.  f8hasit of f8hasit

9.  Call Me Cate of Show My Face

10.  Jenn of PURSUING HAPPINESS

"GO GREEN!" They Say...

Hello everyone. Today, when I logged in, I became aware that today is supposedly "Blog Action Day 2009." I actually had never heard that there was such a day before; I was surprised! You see, Blog Action Day is apparently a day where a vast array of bloggers unite, and all post on the same subject. This year the subject is "climate change."

I would be lying to you if I said that I was an expert on climate change. I am a teenager...I really don't care at this point what it's doing in California when I feel like I'm 90,823,848,934 miles away! (Ha!)

I know it is important to a good number of people though. (How many politicians don't mention global warming while they are campaigning in some way, shape, or form?!) They believe in it or they think it's crazy, they care about it or they don't. It seems like we see it everywhere whether we want to or not.

"GO GREEN!" Is that not one the favorite phrases right now? However, how many people who have that phrase, or a phrase like it on a t-shirt, a sticker, whatever, ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?! Okay, so we know the general meaning: keeping the earth healthy, save the world, peace everywhere! Are you nodding your head in agreement? Good.

We, as humans, tend to do things that our peers do. John does something, so Jimmy does something, so Sally does something, so Susie does something. Right?

I know that some environmental activists have really good intentions, but some of us are just going along with the ride! How many of us actually care about the climate changing? Sure, we care in times of devastation or emergency, but how many of us really care on a day to day basis? Slim to none.

I am a hypocrite in saying this, because you want to know how many times I think about climate change on a regular day? Zero. I NEVER think about climate change. It is something that doesn't even cross my mind.

All I am saying, is that maybe we should start listening to those corny commercials every once in awhile. They seem so cheesy, but they wouldn't be if everyone in the world would actually listen to them! Our world would be in much better shape! All I ask of you after reading this is to do something good for the earth that you wouldn't do on a regular basis. I will too --- I'm getting ready to go turn out a light right now. :)

TGFS: Thank God For Summer!

Summer is a time to feel relaxed. People wait eagerly all year for summer because it is so full of possibilities. It is a time of family fun, grilling out, being lazy, going on exotic vacations, hanging out with friends, summer romances, baseball games, little kids splashing in the pool, sunburns, ice cream and snow cones, the park, and teenage girls stretched out on a towel trying their best to get a tan. Perhaps it is just a break from the stress of every day life.

However, summer is more than that. It means something different to everyone. Summer is a time of peace. It is a time of getting to know yourself better. You have the time to reflect and meditate. Maybe you have more activity in the summer, or maybe you look forward to the summer because you can just be lazy.

Either way, summer is one of the most popular seasons for a lot of different reasons. To me, summer is like all good things: it must come to an end, and if there was too much of it, it would become a bad thing. Luckily, summer is balanced out exactly as it should be! We get enough of it, but not too much! God really knew what he was doing when he created summer. :)

I Just Can't Help It I Guess; I Care

I may look like just a kid, but I promise you I'm not. It might look like I'm still a child on the outside, and in a way, maybe I am. I still have my innocence. I still love to play around, and in some ways I am very immature.
However, I see certain things differently than most people my age. Sometimes I feel as if I am a wise old grandmother in a teenager's body. I don't always understand why I feel the ways I do. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier to only care about myself, but that is not the way I am. I care about other people too, and that is one thing about me that will never change.
Caring too much has a tendency to be one of my faults. It has given me both heartbreak and heartache. Still, I can not lock it away and throw away the key. It is like something that is always there, but it is not something concrete or tangible. Sometimes it goes through a kind of remission. It isn't always active, but it's always there. I just can't help it I guess; I care...

Teddy Bear.

She is seven years old. She loves me more than anything in the world. I make her tears stop when she hugs me. I comfort her, and I am well-loved. She plays with me every day, and sleeps with me every night. When her parents ground her, or her other friends make her mad, I'm always here.
She is ten years old. She doesn't play with me every day like she used to, but I am still well-loved. I only have one eye left to prove it. I know that I'll still spend every night with her. And still I know that she needs me; I'm the most loyal friend she has.
She is sixteen years old. I've been demoted to the floor. I hardly ever see her anymore. She's never in her room, and when she is she chats away the night with her more important friends online. It is a very rare occasion that she holds me for comfort. I know I am still loved, in some part of her teenage heart, but I don't feel it like I used to. I am a stuffed bear, and not as important as the friends she can talk to and relate to.
She...what?! lt's her, but it can't be! She's...she's seven years old again! It's not her, I know it's not her, but it's close enough. This little reincarnation looks exactly like her. And I am back to being her favorite friend again.

Profound Simplicity.

Isn't it weird how one day you can think you know yourself so extremely well, and the next day you are so confused about who you are and start to question everything? One day you can be extremely confident with very few insecurities, and for some reason you wake up the next day and you're just not the same. You don't quite know what it is either; it's just like an aura or a vibe. It is not something you particularly like, but you do not know how to change it.

I have some discovering to do. I am not quite sure who exactly I am anymore. I know this is a regular teenage feeling to go through, but it still is weird to actually go through it. Maybe it is just something that is meant to happen to everybody. I think in a way that every person at some point in their life goes through a process of self-discovery; it's just a natural human process to go through.

I know everyone goes through changes. Maybe it is not a big change. Maybe for years your favorite color was yellow and then you wake up one day and it's suddenly changed to hot pink. Things like that just happen sometimes.

However, maybe the change you're going through is a big change. Maybe it is something that feels so monumental. It could have happened suddenly or gradually over time, but it's not something that goes unnoticed. There are both good changes and bad changes. There are also good AND bad changes. Sometimes it takes a really long time to see the good in something bad, and then you find out that the change shouldn't have been seen as bad at all. It was a good change! It just took you awhile to figure out because sometimes that's just the way it goes. It doesn't sound like the most philosophical saying in the world, "sometimes that's just the way it goes." Sometimes though, it is about the simplicity in the statement that makes it so profound. Sometimes the simplicity is the attribute we need to focus on the most...

In Love?

I have been thinking about something that I would appreciate feedback on. Some people do it, and some don't. Some young preteens or teenagers do this though. What I am thinking of is when people (usually preteens or teenagers) are "going out" or whatever they choose to call it, and let's say after 2 days of dating they think they are "IN LOVE" with each other. Many of the couples saying this are no older than 13 or 14, maybe even younger, but after 2 freaking of days of dating they are MADLY in love with one another. I am sorry if this blog offends anyone, but most of the younger couples who do this do not even know what that kind of love feels like, let alone feel it. However they have things like, "John [loves Kaye soooo much! <3]"