Letter to My Past Self #2

If you haven't read my original "Letter to My Past Self", click here.  I wrote this during my first semester of my first year in college, so obviously a lot has changed since then.  I would like to write a new one...over five years later.  Here goes nothing:

Dear Past Self,

 

How should I even start?  Last time I wrote to you, I thought I had been through the most difficult of hardships.  Frankly, I was wrong.  I have experienced so much more love and loss since I last wrote. 

First of all, I would like to tell you how much you will mature (emotionally) as a young adult, and that you will deal with things you never could have imagined.  Though you may not always see it, you maintain a sense of grace throughout all of your struggles that is absolutely remarkable.

 

Your education and career path will take an unexpected turn, but take note, that it is a very good change.  You will meet some very special children, and very special teachers, friends, and mentors who will become like family to you.  You will get your first taste of what it feels like to love like a mother does (but don't worry, we don't have kids of our own yet!)

 

 

You will also lose some very important people in your life.  All I can say, is treasure every moment you share with your family.  Give them hugs and tell them you love them often.  Celebrate every birthday and holiday with the utmost enthusiasm.  Very soon, those precious moments in your life will become only memories:  make the memories good ones.

With that said, plenty of people love you, and will take you in as if you are their own flesh and blood.  Some of your family will turn their backs on you, but other family members will pop out of the woodwork.  You also have a right to choose your own family by having the most wonderful friends.  Still, proceed with caution:  not everyone is as big-hearted as you are.  Trust people until they give you a reason not to, however when they give you a reason not to, QUESTION EVERYTHING.

 

 

In conclusion, don't stress out so much about the future.  Enjoy the little things, and live in the moment.  That may seem like the most cliché thing you've ever read, but you will soon come to realize how true it is. 

Love,

Me

 

 

Photos Courtesy of:  www.pinterest.com and wherever the Pinterest users got them from. :)

Alone and Bittersweet

It's really funny how things change as you grow older.  My best friends from high school promised me that we would always be friends.  We are not.  In fact, I only have one friend from high school that I see on a regular basis, and that is my best friend, Shannon.  Then I got to college and I met SO many people who were like me.  Most of them have graduated or done something else with their lives, and I am still here.  I have barely stayed in touch with any of them, except for the occasional social media comment.  The thing was, they used to be so much like me, but I have changed so drastically in the past few years.  I am a totally different person than I was when I started college.  I still love theatre, but it is not the focal point of my life like it used to be, at least not for right now.  I am an Early Childhood Education major.  Children are my life now, and I may never pursue a career in professional theatre, as difficult as that is for me to admit.  When I was eighteen and starting college, I thought I would be long gone at this point.  Now that I am twenty-one though, I see myself staying in the exact same place, at least for another year or two.  I have big dreams, and I always will; that will never change.  It just seems that as I have matured my old dreams have become new dreams, and my life has not turned out the way I expected it to.  I am both happy and sad about this.  I am at the point that I do not have much growing up left to do until I am grown up.  It's bittersweet really.  I leave you with a quote that used to be one of my favorites a long time ago back in the era of Myspace and high school:  "Be happy for this moment.  This moment is your life." -Omar Khayyam

Finally a Real Blog!

 

Hello everyone!  Guess what...I'm actually alive.  Yes, I know you must be shocked, but it's true!  I just finished my second to last exam this morning, and I am more than a little excited about that.  Don't you hate exams?  You do all of that studying for one test.  Or maybe you don't study at all; how should I know.  Either way, I am sure many of you college students and maybe even high school students have had to take an exam of some sort.  I wish all of you good luck on your exams!

On another note, I still do not know exactly what I am going to do with my life...for the most part anyway.  I do, however, have one major goal now:  to be the dirt/mud girl on a Swiffer commercial.  Call me crazy, call me insane, call me whatever you want.  I don't care.  I WILL make this happen.  I have facebooked about it, tweeted about it, and now I'm blogging about it.  I have even had friends trying to help me out!  This past couple of days, it has become a big deal for me.  If you want to become my fan on Facebook click here to join in helping me out!  I am grateful for any help I can get.

Anyway, you finally have it:  a real, honest blog.  I know I have not written a true blog in awhile, so I really appreciate if you actually take the time to read this.  Thank you my faithful followers.  I <3 you. 

Photos courtesy of:  www.weheartit.com

The Fairytale That Has Become of 2010.

I have trouble trying to find good enough words to describe 2010. It has been truly ASTOUNDING!  Last year, I worried I was going to be infinitely single - that I was never going to find anyone who completed me. In my journal on January 1, 2010, I wrote:

“I know I started out 2009 the same way, and I sometimes hate to admit it, but I am SO TIRED of  being single!  I don’t know why I am so doomed to be single!  Maybe 2010 will be different.  Maybe I’ll find someone who loves me, and respects me, and appreciates me.  This is what I hope.”

...And so I did. :)  I went out and found myself the man of my dreams, and I really only had to look right in front of me. In 2010, I accomplished the one thing I wanted most.  I cannot believe I found a guy who fit my description of what I looked for in a guy so perfectly. I used to be so bitter about love.  I hated to look at happy couples because I was terrified that I would end up as the lady with fifty cats.  However, I did not, and I am extremely grateful for that.

As for everything else in 2010...wow. I mean, I had a great senior year of high school. I believe everyone who says that senior year is the best year, because it really is. With the way my freshman year of high school started out, I had no clue that my senior year of high school would be SO much better, to the extent that it was almost unbelievable. Totally unexpectedly, I was elected prom queen. I was humbled, unbelievably, by that whole experience. I won the award for having the most school spirit. I graduated and ended the long, but essential, journey we call “high school”. I was amazed when I was offered a theatre tuition waiver to college, along with a theatre scholarship. I cannot believe I was once the freshman girl who would stare down at the floor and who liked to make believe she did not exist.

With that said, I also started a new journey. I am now a freshman in college. I fully planned on majoring in theatre at the beginning of the year. Now, honestly, I am not so sure what I want to do with my life. I never knew it would be such a hard decision.  Other things have simply become more important to me than the theatre. Ryan, for example. I am not saying theatre is not at all important to me; it has been a huge part of my life for quite a few years now. I am just not sure how far along theatre and I will travel together, hand in hand.

I have definitely become a different person this year. As for lessons, I have learned many.  There have been people who have disappointed me this year, but of course, that is to be expected. I saw the flaws in someone that I basically considered to be perfect.  No one is perfect. Life teaches me that over and over again, every year. However, I also made many great friends this year. I never knew just how many great people I would meet in college.  I was amazed at how some of the people I met were, and are, so similar to me.  I have a wonderful life, and I am beginning to realize that more and more every day. This year (especially compared to last year) has been so incredibly easy. It has been a piece of cake. I have kept my emotions more in check and I have matured by leaps and bounds.

More people have pleased me than disappointed me.  One great loss I suffered this year was the death of my Papaw. It was totally unexpected and hard for me to cope with at times (even though I hardly ever showed it). I did not know how much I would miss him until he was gone. While that was a major downer, I still cannot forget all of the great memories from this year.

By far, the best thing that came about this year was my relationship with Ryan.  I think it shocked almost everyone who knew us when we suddenly got together. We had been talking for awhile, but not many people knew that our late night facebook conversations would soon become a full blown romantic relationship. Heck, not many people even knew we were having late night facebook conversations. However, I am glad that we did.  I know most people around my age say their relationship will last, and in a lot of cases it doesn’t, but Ryan and I are different.  I just know it will work out between us. I fully see us in fifty years, sitting on our couch together. I love him, and I am truly glad I have had to go through so many hardships to finally find him because now it is so good. I am glad that I waited to be with Ryan because some things are just worth waiting for. ;)

All in all, 2010 has been a blast. I look forward to creating a bunch of fun, new, memories in 2011 with Ryan and all of my friends. I cannot wait to see what this coming year has in store for me!!!!!

Letter to My Future Self

Dear Future Self,

I wonder what you are like.  What did you decide to do with your life?  I hope you know, because I sure don't.  It's a tough thing:  deciding what you want to do every day for the rest of your life.

I am happy to know that you probably have a wonderful life partner.  If you didn't stick with Ryan, I'll be very disappointed in you.  I know he will always protect you and keep you safe.  You better keep him happy.

I hope the career you chose suits you.  I hope it is fulfilling, but also leaves you time for fun with family and friends.  I hope you are healthy, and still feel like a kid at heart.  Who knows, maybe you have kids of your own by now. 

Gosh, there is so much I want to know about you!  There are so many questions I want to ask you.  Did you ever get a tattoo, or any piercings besides your ears?  Where do you live?  Did you graduate college?  Are you married?  Do you have kids?  How many?  Of course you can't answer these questions for me yet.  I am just looking forward to finding out. 

I feel like I should end this letter with a profound piece of advice, but what can I tell you that you don't already know?  Maybe you should be giving me advice, but I know that isn't possible, though you are wiser and more experienced.  I guess you will just have to teach me what to do from day to day, as I gradually get older.  I bet you didn't do such a bad job with my - our - life.  :)

Love,

Me

Image courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

Letter to My Present Self

Dear Present Self,

You are in a pretty good place right now.  Sure, you still have your worries, but who doesn't?  When it really comes down to it, your life is not looking very bad.

You have found someone wonderful who loves you for who you are.  That may sound cliche, but it's the truth.  He is your best friend, and the soulmate you have always desired.  He understands all of the quirks about you and your life that you feared no one ever could.  He is worth all the physical, mental, and emotional battles you have ever fought in your lifetime.

As for college, it started off quite well for you.  Don't you think?  There have been a couple of setbacks and discoveries you  made along the way, but that happens to the best of us.  If nothing else, you have made wonderful friends!  You fit in with them quicker than with any other "clique" you were friends with before.  They seem to really get you, and you hope some of the friendships that you have obtained this year will last for the rest of your life.

Overall, you have had a rather fabulous life thus far.  I know you will continue to do well, as long as you do not compromise your morals or values for anyone.  You have tried that in the past, and it didn't work, so obviously you should not try it again.  It will only bring you down, and I know you can do better than that.  Keep up the good work, and always be compassionate and caring of others, as you always have been.

Love,
Me

Life Lesson #3: A Warning for College Kids

Life Lesson #3:  There is just as much (or more) drama in college as there is in high school.

Sorry kiddos.  I hate to break it to you, but it's the truth - at least in my case.  Personally, I involve myself in the drama as little as possible, but that doesn't mean I don't see it all around me.  Maybe it's just because I am a theatre major, but I kind of doubt it.  ;)  (Pun intended!) 

Drama exists everywhere, no matter what you choose to do with your life.  Drama is like the ever existent girl (or maybe even guy) in high school who constantly had to one up you in everything.  I mean EVERYTHING!  Listen to the wise words of the song Girl Next Door by Saving Jane if you haven't already, because that is exactly the kind of thing I am talking about.

The one plus about drama in college compared to drama in high school, is that drama in college is usually easier to steer clear of.  Of course, you have to actually want to - unlike some people who say they want to, but really are the cause of all the drama in the first place!  Don't get me wrong.  College started off WAY better for me than high school did.  I am just warning you that if you think your life is suddenly going to be drama free the moment you turn eighteen, you may want to consider taking a dose of reality. 

Images courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

The College Life is the Life For Me!

College is so weird sometimes.  Maybe part of the reason I feel that way because I went to such a small high school.  I was so sheltered at my high school.  I went to school every day with the same people.  I knew all of their names.  I could tell you many of their religious and political beliefs.  A good majority of them had the same feelings about...well, pretty much everything.

Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but you get the gist of my point.  College is different.  You can go through a whole semester and not know the name of everyone in your class - let alone their religious or political beliefs!  Sometimes it is kind of nice.  In high school, everyone worries so much about reputations; in college, there is no need to. 

Of course, some would argue that the college life can be lonely at times.  That is a very valid point.  It can be lonely at times, but it can also be very rewarding.  You get to hang out with people who share the same interests as you.  If you feel like being alone in the peace and quiet, you can just go chill out in the library for a few minutes.  You are whoever you say you are.  There are people at college that haven't known you your whole life.  It's like a fresh start, a turn of the page, the beginning of something that will be whatever you make it out to be...

Images courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

Drama Queenitis

*Note: While reading this blog, press the "play" button on the video at the bottom of this post, and listen to the song it plays, as you read this blog. :) The song is called "Drama Queen" by Family Force 5!

You just graduated from high school. You think all the drama's over, right? WRONG! With all the social networking websites, the drama can, and most likely will, continue! There will always be those drama queens and kings that make you cringe whenever you think of them.


I hate to tell you, but college isn't going to be much better unless you make it better! It's all up to you, whether the rest of your life is fun and happy, or drama filled and depressing. There will always be those people who try to drag you down, but they just want your attention. They don't necessarily care whether you give them good or bad attention. These kinds of people are just so self-centered, they want all eyes to be on THEM. Whether you are congratulating them, feeling sorry for them, complimenting them, or dissing them, they are happy. However, sometimes they still appear unhappy, to gain more attention. Maybe this is just my own theory, and far from the truth, but I have a tendency to believe myself! :)


What should you do about these snarky, ignorant, jerks, you ask? Ignore them! You will tick them off, and at the same time, you will not be wasting your breath on a useless cause!





Video courtesy of:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp7tlrolez4
Images courtesy of:  http://www.photobucket.com/

Double Take

Have you ever come across someone in your life that eerily resembles a person from your past?  I know this has happened to me on several occasions.  Of course, I tend to be paranoid, but that doesn't change the fact that it happens.  Most recently, this has happened in my college math class. 

I call him Punk Boy, and he looks so much like a person from my past, that my heart almost stops sometimes when I see him.  I start to go into defense mode before I realize that the person I see is Punk Boy - not that creepy guy from my past.  It is such a weird feeling though.  The first day I saw Punk Boy, I knew then that he would haunt me to an extent. 

Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but isn't that why they call it *creative* writing?!  Besides, the main point is still true.  People from your past can creep up on you when you least expect it, in the most unexpected ways...
Have you had similar experiences?  How did it make you feel, and what did you end up doing about it, if anything?  I want to hear YOUR story.


Image courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com

The Million Dollar Question.

“Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” –Henry Miller


Is it possible to be too passionate about doing what you love?  Can you become so engrossed with one hobby, that your desire to do it eventually runs out?  It is a question that has been pestering my mind, as of late.  It is making me ask myself over and over again, “What do I really want to do with my life?”  What is more important to me in the future – having a family, or a successful career?  How do I see myself in 20 years?  Where will I end up?  There are so many questions; it can get to be totally overwhelming at times!  I know this happens to many college students, but I sure didn’t think I would be one of them!  I have had a plan set in place for awhile now!  I thought I knew without a doubt what I wanted, but now I’m not so sure. Lately, I cannot stop reevaluating everything.  I only hope that I can make the right decisions.  Thank God that everything happens for a reason. I hope that saying is true now, more than ever.

Auditioning!

Tomorrow evening is my first college audition!  Well, actually it's not, but it's my first college audition in which I am an actual full time student.  I am thrilled!  The play is "The Three Musketeers".  It should be very fun - I've already met plenty of great theatre friends who are also going to be auditioning for the fall play. 

Most people hate auditions.  I tend to LOVE them!  Why you ask?  I don't really know what in particular tickles my fancy about them.  Why do you dislike them?

I guess I like that every time you audition, it's like a fresh start.  No matter how many previous performances you have taken part in, you always have a fresh start at auditions.  Whether it is your first play, or your thousandth play, everyone auditioning is basically on the same page.

I think pretty much everyone knows I love theatre and acting, and now you know I love auditioning!  =)  I am already on a high thinking about tomorrow.  So...wish me luck!  :D

Photo courtesy of:  www.photobucket.com

Music for All of Us College Kids!

Going to college is a funny thing.  It's like America - a melting pot of diversity.  With this in mind, I would like to share with you a personal playlist of music that I think is great for anyone who has experienced going to college - whether you have gone off to a university, or are just going to a community college like me.  :)  So...here goes:

College Kids - Relient K (I think this one's pretty self-explanatory...)

Don't Forget to Remember Me - Carrie Underwood

Break Out!  Break Out! - All Time Low

Fifteen - Taylor Swift (I know this is meant for high school freshmen, but it still relates pretty well to college freshmen as well)

Suddenly - Superchick

19 and Crazy - Bomshel

Teenagers - My Chemical Romance

Fingerprints - Katy Perry

The Party Scene - All Time Low

In Fate's Hands - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Forget and Not Slow Down - Relient K

Wishing Well - The Airborne Toxic Event

Stand in the Rain - Superchick

Vegas - All Time Low

Bigcitydreams - Nevershoutnever!

Letter to Me - Brad Paisley

Already Gone - Sugarland

Represent - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

The Freshmen - The Verve Pipe

Weightless - All Time Low

There you have it - my playlist for all of us college kids!  I hope you like it, and enjoy the music.  I tried to put a little something for everyone on there!  :)  Whether you are excited about your new college life, or dreading it, there is something for you.  I hope you can relate to it, and maybe some of the music will even provide you hope for your future!

Trials and Tribulations, Victories and Celebrations!!!!!

Well, well, well.  Today has been a monumental day in my life.  I FINALLY GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE!!!!!  =D  I am 18, so really I should have had it by now, but due to an accident in driver's ed (not my fault), I lost my nerve for awhile.  I feel a sense of freedom now, like I am a little bit more independent.  Watch the roads...here comes Molly!!!  

Another monumental day in my life is August 16th:  my first day of college.  Weird, isn't it?  How time flies!  I am sad because I have so many friends left at my high school, but I am also thrilled to meet an array of new people.  It will be fun to experience such diversity all in one place!  I am happy to be starting this new life.  Look forward to hearing about my trials and tribulations, my victories and celebrations!  Stay tuned!   

On a different note, August 9th was the second month anniversary of when Ryan and I (my boyfriend) officially started dating.  :)  Love is a wonderful thing!

My Thoughts & Musings From 2009.

I figured that since we are about to embark on a new year, I would write about some of my thoughts and musings from 2009.
Like any year, 2009 was a year of change. However, I think some of the changes that took place in 2009 were bigger than many of the changes I have had in most of my previous years. 2009 was a roller coaster ride with a lot of ups, downs, and definitely loops. I learned some important lessons in 2009 that turned me into the person I am today. I believe that these lessons will come in handy later in life. Life threw a lot of obstacles my way, but I fought back, kicking and screaming.

One of the major lessons I learned this year was that people are not always what they appear to be. I know that is an age old saying, and that people usually don't give it a second thought. This year though, I learned that it is an absolute TRUTH. It is not something to just roll your eyes at. You may think you know someone, but you might not. Especially when you first meet someone, it is easy to get caught up and jump into something, whether it be a friendship or a relationship. However, I have learned that you should not jump blindly; you should always keep one eye open. There may be no flashing lights or "danger ahead" signs to warn you that something is wrong, so it is hard to know when something is not quite right. That is why you need to be very careful.

Another lesson I learned this year was taught to me by an unlikely teacher. "Some things in life are worth waiting for...even if it means waiting forever." I have learned that I am worth waiting for. I am confident that if somebody really loves me, they will be willing to wait for me. This year, my values have been tested more than they ever have been before. I had to decide which direction I wanted to go, and it was an extremely hard decision to make. However, I have learned that if you are with someone, you should not have to change your values, and they should not have to change. They may choose to change, but they shouldn't have to. It may not be easy, but if it is meant to be, it WILL be worth it. Like the song "Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield says: "Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for." I definitely believe this. Now, I wish I could say that I'd fallen in love in 2009, and [insert name here] is EVERYTHING to me, but it hasn't happened yet. Of course, I am willing to wait, because when love does blossom it will be worth it. People tell me it will happen when I least expect it. While this answer does not exactly satisfy me, I tend to agree that love will happen.

As I mentioned earlier, this year has been a year of major change. I have realized that close friends drift away, and this year has been no different. Some of my close friends have drifted away, whether it was totally, or just partially. However, when I was at a couple of my lowest points, it seemed like the most random person would start talking to me. I appreciate these people so much. They might never know who they are, but I am very glad that they intervened when they did. They were in the right place at the right time, and I am very grateful for that.

This year, I really have matured a lot. There have been times this year when I would do something that I never would have done in the past, and I would realize that I actually have a backbone. I have made new friends, and grown closer to old. I am not going to lie. There have been times when I acted happy even though I wasn't. There were also times when I bottled up my emotions at school, and then blew up at my mom once I got home. Sometimes, it just happens. While some people think that I am always happy, nobody ever lives up fully to that expectation.

I am going through a major transitional period right now. I have gotten a taste of the college life this year, and sometimes it is hard to wake up and realize that I am still in high school. I won't be for long, but that really does not change much right now.

Sometimes people think I am so naive, but I am NOT stupid. I have expanded my open-mindedness this year, and while I have never been a very judgemental person, I have become even less judgemental. After all, isn't there a saying about being nice to everyone, because you never know what internal battles they may be facing? I agree with that fully. I try my best to be nice to everyone, because I know what it feels like to be the outsider.

Overall, 2009 was not a bad year. It was rocky, but it had its perks too. However, I still wish for an even BETTER 2010. Remember: 2009 may have been divine, but 2010 is the year to start over again! So with that, I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! May God bless you in all that you do!

Love always,
Molly :)

Take a Step Forward in Your Hypothetical Journey.

Confucius once said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
To me this quote is very motivational. If you have to go on a journey of a thousand miles, every time you take a step forward you are one step closer to your destination.
However, I do not take this quote literally. I take it in a more hypothetical way.
Let's say you have to write a ten page essay on a topic of your choice. If you are chosen as the winner, you will receive a quite large sum of money to use as a scholarship for college. This is the last straw; it is your last hope for going to college. Your parents don't have the money and you are already working two jobs. You know you only have a one in a million chance, but what if...?
If you do not take that one step forward, there will not be a time when you do not think, "What if...?" If you write the essay and are not picked then you will know you tried your darnedest to get that scholarship; you will not regret that decision. In contrast, if you write the essay and are picked you have everything and more! If you had made one tiny mistake and had not written the essay, then it could have cost you everything you worked for all those years of struggling and trying your best to get by.
See how just one little step forward can make a world of difference? I do. You must take that single step forward. Do not fret about how long the journey may take, but realize how great it will be when you finally get there...