My good friend asked me a very thought-provoking question recently, and in an attempt to answer him I will write this scientific article. I have spent many hours researching this topic, and I finally came to some conclusions. I am sure you will all be glad to know the answer to the very controversial question: "How do they get the cream in the Twinkie?"
Maybe you have wondered this yourself, or maybe I just inspired you by getting you to think about something that you had never questioned before. Either way, I hope what I present is helpful so you question Twinkies no more!
First of all, you have to understand that this information must be kept as confidential as possible. I trust you reading this to keep it within the scientific community. If the answer got out, the Twinkie population would be destroyed as we know it! Out of respect to me and your fellow Twinkiemen, please abide by this one rule.
The answer is very simple: it is all through the hard work of the Twinkie Fairies. They spend every day, and many long nights, concocting the perfect Twinkie filling. It has to be the perfect texture, the perfect taste, the perfect scent, and the perfect everything. (The fairies are very picky when it comes to making the absolutely perfect creation!)
They then march their little fairy butts right into the Twinkie, determined to complete the job. Gently, with their tiny hands, they distribute the delicate cream throughout the Twinkie.
When the hard-working Twinkie Fairies get done with one Twinkie, they immediately start to work on the next one...so the first Twinkie will have a twin! When a Twinkie is finished, the fairies take a satisfied step back to admire the result of their hard work for a few moments. Finally, the Twinkie is wrapped up and placed in a Hostess box with other pairs of Twinkies, never to be seen by the Twinkie Fairies again.
You see, this question I just explained to you in detail was not a very difficult question to answer. It is very easy to understand once you do some research or have it explained to you! I hope that the chosen few able to read this secret, scientific, article now need not question anymore how the creamy filling gets in the Twinkie!
-Over & Out until next time: Dr. Molly XYZ