Monday, July 19, 2010

Slowly But Surely.

Not Good Enough.

Yes, I'll admit it - I often have an inferiority complex.  Even when it's not my fault, I feel guilty.  I am my own worse critic.  I suppose I also have high expectations of other people sometimes, but it is only because I have high expectations of myself. 

I often keep my negative feelings to myself.  With that said, it can mean that every once in awhile I blow up.  Now, this doesn't happen very often, but it has happened several times in the past. I am not great at speaking my feelings in person or on the phone, which means I have had several text messaging volcanoes erupt.  I know that text messages are not the best way to deal with things, but sometimes it is the only way I can.  There have also been the occasional computer arguments.  If I couldn't type out what I feel instead of saying it, it more than likely would not be said. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to express myself through my writing, because sometimes writing is the only way I can vent at all.  I know some people would probably think that trait makes me weak - I rely on technology too much.  Although I am trying to make some changes, it will take time for me to do that.  It will be gradual, but hopefully the internal changes I need to make will come.  Slowly but surely...

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Anonymous said...

Oh, I am absolutely the same! Especially when I need to explain something, I put it in an e-mail rather than talk eye-to-eye or on the phone... This sometimes generates funny situations at work, as in 'just let me write it down in an e-mail for you' - 'uh, okay'. Good luck with the transformation!

SnowFire said...

Oh how we are similar! I often face the same problem, and I guess I'm not alone, then?? Let's do our best together! We know we can do it! Somebody once said that our greatest fear is not that we cannot do something, but more of we can do things beyond our imagination. Cheers!!!!